Coming up with a truly great insult ain’t easy, let me tell you…

It’s like an art form and there are people who are MASTERS at doing it.

Let’s hear from AskReddit users about the best insults they’ve ever heard.

1. Back at ya.

““May you have a day as pleasant as you are.”

Great to use on customers because they can’t complain this was an insult without admitting they were rude.”

2. Ouch…

“I hope you go far.

The sooner, the better…”

3. Not useful.

“I would call you a tool, but that implies that you’re useful for something.


4. It works.

“”I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”

Maybe not the best, but it’s a really good one.”

5. Sharp as a marble.

“You’ve only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place.

You’re not the dumbest person in the world but you’d better hope they don’t d**.

Sharp as a marble that one!”

6. In the Navy.

“While I was in the Navy I overheard, ” I’d tell you to go k**l yourself but you would probably f**k that up too.”

Another time a guy wrote, on an evaluation, “losing this guy would be like gaining two people.””

7. Clever.

“Recently heard this one and it was clever to me.

“I’ve been called worse by better.””

8. That hurts.

“A colleague of mine was told the following by a waitress when he had tried to hit on her.

“You have more d**k in your personality than you do in your pants.””

9. Yowza.

“Overheard a conversation at a bar once.

Super hot but high maintenance looking girl, dude tries to hit on her.

She says some mean girl s**t and he looks at her and says, “maybe if you ate some of that makeup you’d be pretty on the inside too.””


10. A good one.

“”I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.”

William F. Buckley.”

11. Obnoxious.

“My stepfather (best dude ever!) was talking about one of my mother’s obnoxious, know it all friends…and he said “That woman could give an aspirin a headache!””

12. Gramps.

“”You need lemons to make lemonade and you ain’t got no lemons.”

My grampa used to say this when I wasn’t good at something.

I laughed every time.”

13. Zing!

“In middle school a classmate told me I have teeth like a Virginia picket fence.

Middle schoolers have the best insults!”

What’s the best insult you’ve ever heard?

Sound off in the comments and let us know.

We can’t wait to hear from you!