When someone, especially a person you don’t really know, hits you with something unexpectedly bizarre about their life, you should say “T-M-I!” and revel in the sitcom laugh track in your head, right?
Well, maybe…
What’s the most fucked up thing someone has told you about themselves after barely getting to know them?
byu/Butt_Roidholds inAskReddit
What are the TMI experiences of Reddit? Let’s find out.
1. The pending confrontation
Randomly Met a fellow motorcycler at a gas station at 2am, told me he was going to confront his wife and her lover. Not right then, just in general.
Then we rode the last hundred miles to St Louis because he happened to be going the same way.
– Hewfe
2. The quiet kid
I was seated next to a quiet kid on a high school band bus to a football game. He’d been in my band class for years, but I had never really spoken to him. He was the type who didn’t fit into anything at school that I ever saw.
I resolved to get to know him a bit and open up a conversation since we were going to be sitting by each other for a few hours. It was like a dam burst; that dude talked for the whole trip.
At one point, he told me that his mom was really unhappy with his stepdad but couldn’t afford to divorce him. And then he told me that his stepdad would get d**nk and beat him with a stick, but he wasn’t sure if his mom was also getting beaten and that scared him. There was a brief pause before he said “I never told anyone that before…” Then he changed the subject completely.
I must’ve been seventeen or so. It shook me. Like… Obviously I was old enough to know that sort of thing happens, but too sheltered to think it happened to anyone I knew. I told my parents about it– seemed the right thing to do. I don’t know what happened from there. He and I never really spoke of it again. I just looked him up on Facebook, though. Looks like he’s done really well for himself.
– DietrichBuxtehude
3. Excuse me?
A guy shouted “s** with dogs is good for you!” At me after we looked at each other from 50 feet away on the sidewalk.
7 years later and it’s still living in my head
– IFKETOFATTY
4. The liar
Met this dude in college when he moved into the dorm. Goofy looking redneck kid from the San Antonio area. I’m getting to know him when I notice his Spice Girls cd (this was like 2003), and I commented on it. He then goes into this long story of how he was at the Walmart in San Antonio, looking at the CDs in that store and just happened to have bumped into Ginger Spice who invited his underaged *ss into the tour bus that no one had noticed, and he lost his virginity to all the Spice Girls at once.
My thought was “Thank you for this story, I know instantly that I can never trust or believe anything you ever tell me again.”
It’s been almost 20 years and I still can’t believe that was something he said in the first five minutes of meeting me.
– GreatJanitor
5. Wait, what?
Coworker took out a client for a business lunch at a small town restaurant. He asks the waitress “How are you?” to be polite.
She proceeds to go on a 5 minute spiel about how terrible her ex husband is and how he’s ruining her life and how she feels like c**p because of it.
After she finishes, takes their order and leaves the customer says “So you must know her pretty well?”
“Only well enough to say hi in passing.”
“Oh, so then that was just as awkward for you as it was for me then?”
“Yes, yes it was.”
– NowhereinSask
6. One and done
I work at a big company and had to walk from one end to the other at the end of a shift once because I got moved halfway through the day, it was a hot day and a dude slowed down and offered me a lift so of course I hopped in.
3 sentences later I know the dudes missing a testicle
– Perp703
7. Missed opportunity?
Met an old friends girlfriend one day. Well, he was hardly a friend and more of like a friend of a friend.
We hungout one day, his girlfriend was with us (first time meeting her), and that night she randomly sent me nudes and said that her boyfriend wanted to have a threesome with her and myself.
I kindly declined. If they asked me today, I’d hop on that faster than a frog onto a Lilly pad
– Reaction_Mammoth
8. Horrible.
I was temping at an office and the trainer told me about her ex.
“He was cheating on me, not just with one woman but many different women.”
“Thats terrible” I replied, thinking we’d move on…Nope.
“He filmed himself shagging the women, and then streamed the compilation of his conquests onto our TV, for me to watch”
I was unsure of what to say and after a couple of minutes of me being quiet she then said :
” when it was valentine’s day a few days later, he gave me a present, he let me start unwrapping the present…. In pass the parcel style each layer had a used condom that he’d used to shag the women in his compilation video”
To say I was sat their not knowing what the f*ck to say is an understatement.
– Scribb74
9. Everything was sunshine
This girl started talking to me, and everything was sunshine until she kept going on about how she would plan a m**der, and how often she blackmails people.
I promptly ended the conversation and haven’t talked to them since.
– MrFooly
10. Medically malicious
Was flying out of China (for Xmas I think?) and an expat guy asked me for a smoke at the airport.
Turns out he was being deported, handcuffed and with armed guards.
He told me it was cos he was a med student and he and his buddies had been stealing pharmaceuticals from the training hospital.
No more med school for him
– antiochus_minor
11. Back scuttled
Just started a new job said good morning to a lad there.
His reply i’ve just found out my lass has been getting back scuttled behind my back.
I didn’t even know his name.
– brothhead
12. Sophomore year
My sophomore year In college a girl who I had a group project with told me that her first s**ual experience was getting tag teamed by a couple of guys while she was in high school.
I just told her “wow, that’s pretty intense.”
She told me that she loved it and then I changed the subject. Until that point nothing s**ual had come up in the conversation.
– Nothing_
13. Center of attention
On a first date with a girl she leaned in and whispered ” I f*cked two guys last night. Obviously consecutively, not at the same time, I’m not a wh*re.”.
After that, we had a nice, perfectly normal conversation until she had a couple of drinks. At that point, she leaned back in and said “I’m completely shaved, do you want to see?” and promptly lifted her skirt to show it. When she did, she said “I never wear underwear, they get in the way.”.
After I talked to a few friends, including the one who set us up, they all said that she was desperate to be the center of attention and slightly crazy.
– Drulock
14. High stakes comedy
At 10:00 at night, I was at a rest stop and a guy came up to me and asked “How would you like to save a life? Tell me a joke and I may not k**l myself.”
– PerpindicularSealeo6
15. Muscles
My wife loves to tell this story.
Her first day at a new company she was to meet another employee who would show her around the office. She met her in the lobby and on the elevator ride up to the office she proceeded to tell my wife how her husband has gained some weight and she is considering starting an office affair with a co-worker who is really into fitness and ‘has muscles’ (apparently she made a gesture where she fanned herself while saying muscles)
Like literally my wife met this lady 5 minutes earlier for the first time in the lobby and she is already unloading all this stuff on her.
– Boxman75
16. Fear and respect
I (25f at the time) was at A&E in the UK. I got discharged and was waiting for my taxi outside. This buff shirtless dude, covered in tattoos (they were decent too, imo) comes over and asks for a light. I bought a zippo for novelty so I obliged.
We got to talking and he told me how he had just got out of prison after serving a life sentence for k**ling his father, after his father m**dered his baby sister. Had his records on him and everything (he was at the hospital as he was diabetic and had experienced an issue of some sort after being released – I have no expertise here).
I have never feared and respected a man so much in my life.
I bought him a pint after my taxi decided it wouldn’t be arriving. Decent bloke – we still speak 9 years later.
– heavenhelpyou
17. Twilight years
I remember the first friend I made at my new high school when I was 14 so vividly. Just as we were walking out of the classroom where we had just met she turns around and cheerfully chimes:
“oh, by the way. I’m a vampire.”
Yes, Twilight had just come out. That entire school was so weird.
I remember another girl noticed I had cut myself shaving and insisted on putting a bandaid on for me as she muttered things like “you have no idea how difficult this is for me”. (Yes, she also claimed to be a vampire.)
Small towns, man.
– U535087
18. Tea and sympathy
I used to work at an animal shelter and we had several people who would come volunteer to help out.
One of the women who came there on a regular basis went to lunch with me. She was such a sweet woman, a little older than I was at the time. She proceeded to tell me that she used to go to the park and give old men bl*w j*bs because she felt sorry for them.
WTF?
– moviesandcats
19. That’s hardcore
First night at my first base right out of tech school in the USAF…
“Hi! My name is Mike and I’m into hardcore S&M!”
Still had to share a room with him a few nights.
– 1369311007
20. The mix up
My manager at my job in high school decided to tell us about her suicide attempt on my very first day.
She was like, “One day, I decided to take some pills and end it all. I grabbed a pill bottle out of my mom’s cabinet and took a handful without even looking at what it was and then lay down to d**. I was so surprised to wake up in the morning perfectly fine. Confused, I checked the bottle to see what I had taken.”
Yeah, it was estrogen.
– Nimeni013
21. The quiet kid
I sat next to this quiet kid in my Spanish class. He was awkward and had a subtle speech impediment.
One day, I tried to spark conversation with him and he told me that he considered m**dering his parents.
– auxxxcordddlorddd
22. The bad hire
My boss at the time had hired an older woman who was re-entering the workforce. He wanted to fire her the first day when she couldn’t even complete the legal paperwork (maybe 20 minutes for the slowest readers) in 8 hours. He quickly lost his patience training her so he pawned her off on me.
Before the end of the first day I trained her she failed at things as I explained them to her, cried, called me a bully for trying to “train her too quickly.” She reported me to the boss and she wanted to report me to HR for creating a hostile environment. I was actually out of town at the time, but he managed to spook her enough by asking if we should just call this hiring a mistake and have her and the company mutually part ways. She straightened up pretty quick apparently.
When I came back a few days later she’s better, and more eager to learn. As we are leaving for the day her husband is waiting for her in the parking lot with her teenage son in the back seat. I pull out in my car after they do and the entire time her son is turned around in the backseat smiling at me through the rear windshield.
The following day she tells me her son has a huge crush on me now. He thinks I’m so hot and he’s going along for the ride tonight so he can see me again. Then this woman, who I have known for three days, tells me all of her teenage minor child’s physical stats including the size of his penis. Why a mother knows the size of her sons penis I do not wish to know.
I actually had to remind this woman that I was more than a decade older than her minor child. To which she sort of laughed and said he’d be older soon enough.
She did not end up working with us for long.
– Camp_Express
23. Dark realities
I was doing my practice in a hospital. They brought a young man in the neuro clinic, he was my 1st patient. He was around 30 and he had fallen from a tree while working.
He turned out to have a complicated neurological condition that had nothing to do with his fall. He was also diagnosed with severe depression. He was in there for months and no one ever visited him, the only time he felt a bit better was when I visited him and did some tests to him.
He said “it’s nice when you come and make me play with the coloured toys and make me draw things”. One day he was looking out of the window, when I came in he looked me d**d in the eye and told me “you know, if the windows didn’t have protective bars, I’d jump right out”.
It was the 1st time I’d heard such thing and I remember it ever since
– Shoddy_Natural4217
24. So many questions!
I picked up a hitchhiker once that told me he left California after his wife d**d because the cops were asking too many questions.
I dropped him off in the next town and he paid me with a beer and we parted way
– iasip1986
25. So much so fast
Had to do a course and the trainer arrives, introduced himself to the small class of maybe 4-5 people and asked a bit about each of us, he then told us his wife had d**d 2 years ago and he tried to k**l himself.
I felt horrible for him but he seemed genuinely happy with where his life was, I ended up staying back after class and having a beer with him at the bar he was a really cool guy I hope he is still happy.
– BrickBrickson
26. Sharp wit
That he stabbed his neighbour in the neck because he s**aully assaulted his step-daughter.
I’d worked with him for 2 hours at this point.
– devlin1888
27. Ya burnt
Some guy next to me on the bus once went into a long elaborate story about how he burned his house down for insurance money like three weeks prior.
I wouldn’t have believed it if his hands didn’t have massive burn scarring.
– STARCRUSHER99
28. Tears of a stranger
An old man asked me if I knew when the next bus would arrive and we ended up getting into a nice conversation that somehow led to him telling me about his daughter being being in an abusive relationship with a guy who made her move far away from him and his family so they couldn’t help her.
We were both crying by the time the bus arrived.
– Probablyprofanity
29. Care and care alike
Met a woman who worked I child care.
She told me all about how difficult it was working with abused boys and how she got to close to one and had s**ual feelings. Showed me a picture and said anyone who meets him thinks he is really nice and not to judge him on looks….then the barman came back with my drink and I left.
That was the entirety of conversation with a VERY d**nk and probably sh*tty social worker.
– AlertMike
30. At least he’s honest
My favourite question to ask new colleagues was: so, what do you do in your free time?
First person I asked: a sh*t ton of drugs.
– somethingseminormal
I…I don’t know what to do with that information.
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