It can be difficult to take a long, hard look in the mirror and admit the things about yourself that aren’t exactly great.
But sometimes it can be a useful exercise…even if you THINK you might be perfect.
If you had to admit it, what would you say is your most toxic trait?
Here’s how people on AskReddit responded.
1. Two big ones.
“I can’t let go of things and I take things way too personally.
I rationalize it like this “I wouldn’t dream of saying or doing something like that to this person, so why are they doing it to me?”.
Also, I procrastinate like no other. Seriously, you could give me a year, or 2 days to do something. Wouldn’t make a difference.”
“Growing up feeling very unknown/unseen, I have a tendency to overshare and get excited if someone shows an interest in me. It can come across as overriding and waiting for someone to finish what they are saying just so I can say my thing.
I also want people to genuinely like me so I tell them a lot of the bad or difficult stuff right away, so they are pre-warned and I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time with someone who can’t handle the sh*t that lead to who I am now, and the people I still interact with on a semi-regular basis (mainly family).”
3. Need to be validated.
“Most of the time when I ask people for their opinions, I don’t actually want to hear their opinion.
Instead I want to hear my opinion come out of their mouth. I’m always hoping that they will have the same opinion as me because it makes me feel validated.
I don’t actually care about what they really think.”
“I’m extremely insecure and overthink a lot.
I feel constant fear of being disliked or abandoned.
I need a lot of reassurance in things because my anxiety makes me so scared and worried I either hold on too tight or I push people away even though I want them close which only end up hurting them more.”
5. Just can’t hide it.
“I’m not good at hiding my emotions. Specifically, if I’m in a bad mood, everyone knows it.
I used to be an absolute nightmare when I was younger because of it; I’d turn my bad mood into everyone’s bad mood. I don’t do that anymore, but I’m still not good at hiding it.”
6. High standards.
“I have impossibly high standards for myself and I tend to place this on others as well. Then I get p*ssy/grouchy when people fail me.
Deep down it is a self protection mechanism, having been let down by so many people, it is just easier to assume and expect the worst, that even the best of those I love will let me down.”
7. Checked out.
“I mentally checked out of my life.
Sometimes i just sleep for half of my worktime (thanks covid) and after work drink and watch sh*t on Netflix. Rinse and repeat, anticipating weekend. Then friday arrives and i feel even worse (counterintuitive, isn’t it?).
I know i should find me some new stimuli/tasks/hobby/anything but i… Idk? Can’t be bothered?”
8. Back to me.
“I talk about myself way too much and don’t ask about the other person nearly enough.
Probably not my most toxic trait but definitely the one that’s giving me issues at the moment.”
9. Might be time to reach out.
“I’m bad at keeping in touch with people I care about.
The phrase out of sight out of mind is really true for me. I tend to just be absorbed by what’s right in front of me. It’s very rare that I would have a thought like I wonder how my sister is doing or I wonder how such-and-such friend is doing after xyz event or even I wonder how my girlfriends day is going.
I care about these people obviously, but they also don’t seem to naturally occur to me in my daily thoughts. This unfortunately leaves it up to everyone else to reach out to me, to hang, to make the invitation, to chat, etc. I’m always super stoked when they do, but I regret putting that on them. I’m fortunate that they do all make the effort.
I am a good friend… like with anything else I do, when I’m with someone I’m very much absorbed in that interaction, so that I think helps put away any doubts about my interest in the relationship.”
10. Ingrained in you.
“Because my father was and is a huge racist, I still have racist thoughts that I am fully ashamed of and I know they are wrong.
It’s just ingrained into me sadly.”
11. Holding grudges.
“I hold grudges basically forever and I hate it.
To put things in perspective with a little example, a childhood friend one time did something mean to me when we were 7. We kept talking after that, but whenever we did I would remember that day with ridiculous detail like it was etched with a laser on my brain.
I finally let go of that grudge one day when we were casually remembering childhood moments and she remembered that day and apologized. About 20 years later.”
12. At least you’re aware of it.
“I’m manipulative and selfish.
I just finally accepted that a few months ago. I can’t even tell you guys or anyone else the things I’ve done. Even though I regret them now and know they’re wrong I know for a fact I’d have Redditors screaming at me for being a selfish prick.
In vague terms, I’ve used people, lied, guilted, and messed with the system to get what I want and never really thought of it as manipulative until I got on meds and got some help.”
13. Time to recharge.
“I’m emotionally unavailable. Sometimes I just disappear.
My closest friends understand this but it’s off putting for new friendships. It’s nothing personal, I just need to recharge.”
Okay, now we want to hear from you…
What do you think is your most toxic trait?
Talk to us in the comments and spill your guts!