If you’ve never checked out Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole?” threads before, they are very interesting and they shed a lot of light on family dynamics.
The subject of this AITA post was very serious. A woman found out about her miscarriage just before she hosted her brother and sister-in-law for a visit. The woman was obviously very emotional and things spiraled out of control during the visit.
Here’s the post from Reddit’s AITA:
“My brother (29M) and sister-in-law (SIL) (29F) asked Wednesday if they could come for a visit at that weekend. (They 6h away). We said sure, love to see you.
Friday afternoon, I (34F) had an ultrasound for my 8 week pregnancy. The ultrasound showed a likely miscarriage.
My husband (35M) & I were upset, but as my bro & SIL were already driving, we didn’t cancel the visit. We hadn’t told them about the pregnancy, nor had we told our 3 kids.
When bro & SIL arrive they were excited to tell us SIL is pregnant, and due 2 weeks before I would have been due. I tried to sound excited and happy for them but I wasn’t as excited as I normally would have been. Then it turned into a nightmare.
She didn’t like supper; so we ordered in food for her. She needed the bed moved from 1 wall to another. Fine. She insisted on 5 pillows to sleep. I found a couple & she was upset I couldn’t give her more & asked if she could go into the kids rooms and take theirs. I said no.
Next morning, she freaked out at 7 am that the kids were eating cereal too loud. She spent the morning curled up on the couch complaining about morning sickness. I sympathized and said it’s awful, but it will go away. She screamed “No, you’ve never experienced this- they gave me the same anti-nauseau drugs they give chemo patients so shut up!” I got quiet.
My husband was making brunch and she freaked out that he was going to cook bacon because “the smell makes me vomit.” We didn’t make bacon. She also didn’t want us to make eggs or let the kids have syrup on their pancakes. I refused, so she stormed off into her room until mid- afternoon.
Midafternoon she decides to go shopping and said they’d be back for dinner. We said dinner would be at 5:30. At 5:45 they hadn’t show up, and weren’t replying to texts, so we ate. They showed up at 6 and she freaked out that we hadn’t waited so we ordered pizza.
She spent the next two hours complaining about how brutal pregnancy is and how it sucks so much and how she’s never going through it again. I lost it & told her that I was in the middle of a miscarriage and I’d love to have her problems because it means my baby would be ok.
Everything got quiet and she looked at me and said “I can’t believe you’d use the “M” (miscarriage) word around me.
That’s bad luck, and if I lose the baby it’s your fault!” and went to her room and slammed the door.
Now read the rest of the story…
I think I know where I stand on this one. And I can’t believe the sister-in-law had the nerve to say an awful thing like that.
What do you think? Who was out of line in this situation?
Share your thoughts with us in the comments!