Selling a car can be such a hassle. Potential buyers love to haggle, misread, and generally waste the seller’s time. That’s why Laura Jones, a car enthusiast in the U.K., decided to get straight to the point in her car ad on Facebook.
Laura posted the ad after her brother asked her to help him sell his Ford Fiesta. Her hilarious post is in “idiot terms” — it’s tailor-made for those who refuse to read ads correctly.
The post began,
“This is a 59 plate (also known as 2009) Ford Fiesta – not a focus, not a clio and certainly not a flying carpet.
The car is grey – don’t ask me what shade of grey it is, all I know is it’s a special colour changing paint as it looks black when it’s dark… as does everything else around it – funny that.”
She went on to explain that the car is good on fuel, has 3 doors and 5 seats, and “comes with a stereo of some kind.”
Then she added that the car is available for test drives, but only for buyers who have proof of insurance.
For those who don’t, they’re welcome to sit in the passenger seat while Laura test drives it for them… Under some special terms.
“If you can’t show me proof of insurance, then I am more than happy to take you for a spin in the car. By spin, I mean take it around the block and demonstrate all gears work correctly, brakes work and throttle without any components falling off the car.
If at any point whilst I’m driving, you decide to try and find chav FM on the radio, adjust my mirrors, press any buttons, or god forbid, attempt to speak to me, I will kindly leave you on the side of the road.”
Lastly, she issued a stern warning to anyone who tried to rip her off after showing up to discover that she’s a woman selling a car:
“I promise to waste a minimum of 50 minutes of your time going along with your lies, purely for entertainment, shits and giggles, making you think you’re going to get the car for half the price, followed by mid conversation, shaking your hand and kindly telling you to p*ss off.
So yep… there you have it.
Fiesta. Grey. Diesel. Goes brum.