To each their own, of course, but I’ve always found it kind of puzzling when I hear about people my age (early forties) and younger who got married really young.
I understand that a lot of our parents did that and of course, everyone also did who came before them, but it just seems kind of…old fashioned to me to get married before you’re, oh I don’t know, 25.
But I guess everyone’s experience is different. And there’s gonna be some good and some bad with everything.
Women who got married young discussed the pros and cons of that decision on AskReddit.
Let’s take a look.
1. This and that.
“Con: I’ve never lived alone. There have only been three years of my life I’ve had my own bedroom.
Pro: everything we have we built together. There’s no his and hers, it’s all (good and bad) ours. We are a team!
We’ve been together more than half our lives (which I suppose could go in cons too).”
“Married at 21, divorced by 25. It took me 9 years of growing and getting over the label of divorcee to remarry.
I wish my ex-husband and his family nothing but the best in life.
And I absolutely adore the amazing man I get to call my husband now.”
3. One of the lucky ones.
“Pros: getting to live with and be married to my best friend earlier in life.
Cons: as you grow older you really can change drastically and sometimes that you may not be as compatible anymore. I am a totally different person now and I have a completely different outlook on life, but thankfully it causes no issues between me and my husband.
We grew together I think, but that’s not always the case with young couples”
4. True love.
“Pro: I’m proud of how long we’ve been together. I like telling people we’ve been together 20 years, married 15 years and I’m only 37.
I feel that unwary, full-hearted teenage butterflies-and-puppy-love for him. Many of his male friends have told him they would have traded the dating scene in their 20s for young love and marriage.”
5. A bad experience.
“Married at 19.
Pros? After all the cheating, it changed me into someone I like better.
Cons? After all the cheating, it left behind a mental illness.
6. A mixed bag.
“Cons: Never lived alone, didn’t get to date much, and for me personally, there was a lot of growth and we grew into different people.
Pros: It’s easier to build a nice life when you have a partner. We had two houses before we were 30. We had a lot of personal growth.”
7. Looked down on.
“I got married at 24 and we’re celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary next week.
Biggest pro was that once I realized I wanted to get married to him, actually doing it provided me with a feeling of settlement. Another pro was that being the first of our friends to get married, there was little/no expectations about how our wedding should be, and no comparisons with friends’ weddings.
I wore a floral jumpsuit to our courthouse wedding (only parents/siblings present), then we had a 60 person casual party in my mom’s backyard a couple months later. Our party theme was “wear your favorite T shirt.” It was young and silly and perfect for us.
Con: I think people tend to look down on young marriages, at least where I live.”
8. Wish I had some single time.
“I went straight from my parents’ home to our home. Which was a huge emotional shift.
I also had to go from having anything I want, reasonably to having the bare necessities. From being single and free to obligated and married.
Is being married nice? Yes
Was it worth it? Yes
But I wish I got to be single outside my parents’ house.”
9. Hard at the beginning.
“I was 19 for all of 3 months and he was barely 20. The only real con was how rough it was in the beginning.
We had inexperience of life, money problems, living on our own for the first time while being 3 hours away from our families, and a few very serious life crises all at one time. But the fact we made it through strengthened our bond into something unbreakable. We have too much shared heartache, trauma, tribulations to think that someone else could replace either one of us.
The grass never “looks greener” to us. We know better.
Pros: Besides what was mentioned, we know each other’s s**ual and dating history. No baggage and nothing to worry about.
We were very much on the same page before we had our son so very little had to be discussed and if so, it was usually pretty quick meeting of the minds rather than develop strategy. The trust is so strong.
Besides, I absolutely love the look on people’s face when I say we have been married 27 years now.”
10. Short and sweet.
“Married in Vegas at 18.
Pro: Cool story!
Con: divorced by 20.”
“I JUST got married at age 22 (Im 23) so idk about the long terms but short term so far:
PROS: We have a happier and healthier relationship in our 5.5 years of being together than literally any other couple we know (including our parents)
Learning together, getting to watch each other grow and evolve
Getting to be each others #1 supporters and encourage them to apply for new jobs, promotions, or work hard
Neither of us were ever into the sleep around, do lots of drugs and party lifestyle so we dont really feel like we are missing out on anything. Working and then coming home to spend time together suits us well.
CONS: Every miserable divorcee or single mother of 2 HAS to tell me how stupid I am for getting married so young and literally wont shut up about it every time we encounter each other
Sometimes his parents kind of put some pressure on us about kids and they dont accept that just because we are married doesn’t mean we want kids right now
People our age are still jobless living on their parents couches or working 10 hours a week with no plans for the future so its hard to relate to our friends sometimes. Not because we are married, but i think because we both already have a path we want to go on for our lives and our friends still feel lost in theirs
Overall, love it. Wouldn’t rather have it any other way.”
12. All pros.
“Married my HS sweetheart at 23. I personally can’t name a con.
I love my husband, I love the life we have built from the ground up, together.
I love how well we know each other, because we literally grew up side by side.
Young adulthood can be really difficult, and I feel so blessed that I didn’t have to face it alone.”
Did you get married young?
If so, what do you think are the pros and cons involved?
Tell us what you think in the comments. Thanks!