Writer and Associate Professor at Philadelphia’s Temple University, Nyasha Junior asked 40-something women what advice they would tell their 20-year younger selves.

Thousands responded, and their words, born of experience, are reminders of what is essential to a happy life and what should be given up.

Scroll through the top 10 answers 40-something women provided to the question, “What advice would you give to your 20-something self?”

1. Get out the special occasion china and wear your party dress, “just because.”

2. Tomorrow is a gift.

3. No regrets.

4. “Quit apologizing.”

5. Be loyal, but be wise.

6. Love yourself first.

7. Don’t be afraid of aging.

8. Be alone for awhile.

9. So much, this.

10. Be independent.

What would you say to your younger self?