I have no idea what it’s like to be a parent. Based on my experiences with my nieces, it seems to be mostly blur of screaming and yelling at small people telling them not to scream so much.

Which, don’t get me wrong, sounds amazing, but I think I’m good for now.

At the moment I’d prefer to just read these tweets about parenting rather than jump into the gene pool myself.

10. Get ‘er done

He’s ready for a life of labor far too soon.

9. Selective listening

This is why everybody needs a little distance.

8. Sleep sweet

This is the most effective alarm clock I can imagine.

7. Sweet bliss

Plus maybe you got some fun drugs afterwards?

6. The routine

Bedtime is when kids suddenly realize they have a long list of errands to run.

5. Catherine Obvious

If it’s not obvious to you now, it will be soon enough.

4. Important life lessons

I was homeschooled and yup, this is it.

3. I’ve created a monster

They must know their place, now and forever more.

2. Letting sleeping dogs lie

It’s really best for everyone’s health.

1. That’s the joke

What is this sleep everyone keeps talking about and do you guys sell it in bulk perchance?

So, yeah, nothing in there is making me super excited about the idea of having kid of my own, but, heck, maybe someday. In a year or a century or whatever.

Do you have kids? What’s it really like?

Hit me with the full scoop in the comments, if you would.