A quick search on Amazon reveals that that store alone has over 60,000 books on the subject of marriage.

Assuming an average of 200 pages and an average reading speed of 2 minutes per page, it would take you *gets out calculator* *consults abacus* *makes a sacrifice to the gods of math*…

…more than 45 years to read them all, and that’s if you somehow never needed to sleep.

Way too much, right? How do we get the inside scoop on marriage without committing ourselves to such a feat?

Simple, we’ll just turn to Twitter.

10. Hit the deck

Oh girl, I’mma need you to dish.

9. The over/under

Anyone who doesn’t do this is a sociopath.

8. Meet me in the middle

Guess that’s what they mean by “if looks could kill.”

7. Talk to me

I meant like, as a concept.

6. I got a feelin…

You’re not all gonna get this one but the people who do will love it.

5. Hold my beer

Or, yanno, probably a non-alcoholic beveridge, I guess.

4. Under wear?

On the other hand, you’ve really given the neighbors something to talk about.

3. Sports!

That’s the part they don’t really tell you about.

2. One is never enough

Better get a few hundred more, just in case.

1. The song

Nah, that could really be about anybody.

No need to read any books at all when you’ve got that kind of wisdom at the ready. If you’re thinking of getting married, consider that the full tutorial.

What’s your best piece of relationship advice?

Tell us in the comments.