It’s time to boil down married life to its basic elements…
Does that sound good to you?
Then these funny tweets from moms and dads will definitely tickle your funny bone!
Go ahead and take a look and get ready to laugh!
1. What an idiot!
He’s not too bright, huh?
After 13 years of marriage my husband still doesn’t know the difference between the thingamabobber and the whatchamacallit.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 14, 2022
2. You’re in charge.
Did I do this the right way?
My husband and I are still married because after he loads the dishwasher he calls me over to “optimize” it
— Science Mom ? (@EmSlyce) January 18, 2022
3. This is not a good sign.
It’s gonna get ugly.
My husband just tried to get me to help him start cleaning by singing about it and I don’t know why it took me 7 years to realize I married Mary Poppins.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 19, 2022
4. Pretty much.
Ain’t it great?!?!
Marriage is basically just repeating the same series of questions over and over again until one of you dies:
1. What are you doing?
2. Why are you doing that?
3. Can you please stop?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 14, 2022
5. Around and around you go.
Are you ready for this?
Let’s get married & have kids so we can accuse each other of putting the toilet paper on backwards, when it was actually our child who did it
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) January 22, 2022
6. He’s really blowing it.
The answer is always NO.
I love my husband but he’s a damned fool if he thinks the correct follow up to “damn that’s a big bug”
“do you want to see it before i throw it out?”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 17, 2022
7. You sound like a blast!
Are you fun at parties?
My husband was playing a video game where his character was biking through snow in a t-shirt and shorts and I complained that he wasn’t wearing more weather-appropriate clothing, so yeah I’m pretty fun to have around.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 16, 2022
8. Uh oh…
The wrong kind of gift.
After 17 years together my husband still likes to leave me little gifts around the house. Like this morning when he forgot to flush after using the toilet.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) January 23, 2022
9. He’ll never use it.
He needs a storage space.
My husband wants a bowling ball for his birthday. I can’t wait to store it with the golf clubs, surfboard, mountain bike, and 12 other things he’s asked me for and never used.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 14, 2022
10. What was she thinking?
She doesn’t even know you anymore…
My wife got low sodium bacon so now I have to wrap it in regular bacon.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 17, 2022
Are you married?
If so, how’s it going?
Give us an update in the comments.