Legendary General Charles De Gaulle once said “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
Which makes sense. I mean, you don’t have to be affected by the horrors of war to know that dogs are better than people.
All you have to do is like, look at a puppy. And then look at a human. Which one of them are you more likely to start petting? Exactly.
Here are ten tweets from people who know all about the dog life.
10. Super cool
Hey, there’s a little somethin’ extra, just for you.
When I let my dog lick the plate after I’m done eating from it. pic.twitter.com/RDhHEO9dVk
— lady tall hair (@ladytallhair) November 4, 2019
9. Chill pills
Not sure this is veterinarian level advice but it sounds like fun so I’ll take it.
If you want your dog to take a pill:
1. Get a piece of cheese
2. Eat the cheese for energy
3. Get ready to wrestle your dog
— Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash (@mynameisntdave) August 17, 2016
8. Picture perfect
And yet when I do the same thing but with pictures of people I’m a “stalker” who “needs to go to jail.”
Me: And here’s 2300 photos of my dog sleeping
— Dog Daddy (@dog__daddy) April 8, 2019
7. The Stick of Destiny
It’s like Xeno’s paradox, but with sticks, and dogs, so better.
i found a really good stick. but i chewed it too hard. and it broke in half. which was disappointing until i realized. now i have two sticks. today has been. an emotional roller coaster
— Thoughts of Dog® (@dog_feelings) January 3, 2019
6. Dog day afternoon
This is a perfect list, where do I apply?
Top 5 jobs of 2019:
1. Stay at home dog mom
2. Professional dog cuddler
3. Dog park tug-of-war referee
4. Puppy nap time supervisor
5. Adoption center Chief Treat Officer
— Dog Daddy (@dog__daddy) August 28, 2019
5. Barks and bites
Thank you for bringing your delightful chaos yet again in our home, pupper.
When your baby is sleeping so peacefully and your dog decides to start barking at the door for absolutely no reason at all pic.twitter.com/lFL6RSjPVI
— Torie Shaver (@torieshaver) July 3, 2019
4. A leg up
I feel like one of them is getting the wrong end of this partnership.
Can we just talk about how my dog begs for food? pic.twitter.com/I6hEiytTu0
— Adriana Burkhart (@BurkhartAdriana) February 18, 2017
3. Storage capacity
At the time of writing the top tier iPhones have roughly enough storage capacity for 100,000 doggo pictures. You’re probably set?
Apple: We have just released the most powerful iPhone ever
Me: Talk to me about how many dog photos it can hold pic.twitter.com/HST2QYUMe9
— Dog Daddy (@dog__daddy) September 11, 2019
2. Have your cake
From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.
wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?
me: They’re for the dogs
wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
me: They don’t know how
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) September 14, 2019
1. Suit of armor
Never fear, m’lady. I am sir Goodboi of Heckinshire.
This is how I imagine my dog feels when he’s protecting the house by barking at the leaves blowing by. pic.twitter.com/JtVqEseqSj
— Terry Smith (@ChopperPorVida) August 29, 2019
Now somebody get me a dog. I need to pet one. IMMEDIATELY.
What’s your dog like?
Tell us all about them in the comments.