If you’re looking for marriage advice, you’ll never have to look very far.
People just kinda give it all the time, regardless of context.
Often times though, it’s not really advice that they themselves have found useful, but rather expectations and idioms that have been passed down to them that they assume they must likewise perpetuate.
But how many of these gems are really helpful? Twitter has some doubts.
11. “Never go to bed angry”
Sometimes a little rest is exactly what you need.
Folks who've been married: what's the WORST marriage advice you've ever received?
I'll start: "Never go to bed angry." Sometimes that's exactly what you should do. You're both tired & at your worst! Get some sleep. Wake up. Eat together. See if the argument is still so serious.
— Samuel Perry (@socofthesacred) August 1, 2020
10. “Marriage is hard work.”
I thought it was supposed to be a joy, not a burden?
“Marriage is hard work” not really advice but, it’s bullshit. Life is hard work but your marriage shouldn’t be hard work.
— ? ? ? ? ? (@bsb0nes) August 2, 2020
9. “It can survive anything.”
This should be classified more under “joke” than “advice.”
“If your marriage can survive putting together DIY furniture, it can survive anything.” No. We were great at DIY furniture. “We” were not so great at the Seven Year Itch.
— ??????????? ? (@megabyte407) August 3, 2020
8. “Make it work for the kids”
In a lot of cases, the kids will be much better off with a little back and forth than they would growing up in a household full of anger and resentment.
“Just try to make it work for the kids” yeah, its important for a kid to grow up with two loving parents, but its toxic for them to have parents that constantly fight and hate each other.
— Dawna Stadulis (@StadulisDawna) August 2, 2020
7. “Grow up”
“You’re a married woman. Get rid of that bicycle and grow up.” Met my husband on a bicycle trip. We still cycle together 40 years later.
— Marie (@Nadene_Marie) August 1, 2020
6. All the stereotypes
People, it turns out, are people.
ALLLL the gender stereotypes. Like ALL of them. Who wants sex more. Who is more driven/visionary. Who is better with money. Who is a better stay-at-home parent (and don’t EVEN get me started on this whole line of “holy women stay home” thing). Just all of it is SO unhelpful
— Melissa Watson (@melissaj_watson) August 1, 2020
5. Deny your eyes
We all have to make peace with the fact that Idris Elba exists, just let it happen.
All of the people who claim you have to be in total denial around your spouse that other attractive people exist in the world. Or that they can’t manage their jealous if you have any interactions at all with exes.
— Matt (@simonjester2424) August 2, 2020
4. “Use s** as a weapon”
Yup, sounds like a totally healthy dynamic to have.
“Use sex as a weapon and make sure husband knows you can take it away.”
— Lilah Higgins (@lyluxeee) August 1, 2020
3. “Don’t let her know”
That is some machismo nonsense right there.
Don’t let your wife know you struggle, that’s for the guys.
— Dennis Swender, BS in Ed, MA in C&I, MBA ?? ?? (@dennisswender) August 1, 2020
2. “Control her”
I think he needs new friends.
Not me -but my husband’s less modern minded male friends regularly tell him that he needs to control me better – like not letting me travel for professional development alone leaving him home to fend for himself. Or not allowing me to have male friends. Too bad they don’t trust.
— (((Nance))) Vaxed and Masked ?&? (@NanceAdler) August 2, 2020
1. “One wears the pants”
These decisions affect us both, so, maybe let’s communicate?
That every marriage can only have one leader who has the final say in disagreements & decision-making. And that one leader is the husband because of male headship.
— Emily Hunter McGowin (@EmilyMcgowin) August 1, 2020
Just follow the opposite of all that and you’ll be fine.
What’s the worst advice you’ve ever received?
Tell us in the comments.