Oh, to be married…
I’m actually NOT married but I get to live vicariously through my married friends…for better or worse.
Perhaps…but it is what it is.
And today we’re gonna have some laughs from folks who are actually livin’ the married life FOR REAL.
Take a look…
1. Are you still hungry?
That took a while.
Husband: Where do you want to eat?
{5 years later}
Me: Applebee’s is fine
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) January 25, 2022
2. Get with the program.
If you know what’s good for you…
Unsolicited marriage advice-
Support the shit outta your spouse’s rage cleaning.
— Your Favorite Gay Mom? (@lezzimomof2) January 29, 2022
3. Might not survive this.
We wish you luck.
My husband beat me at Wordle this morning. Please pray for our marriage during this trial.
— Laura Klenda (@KlauraLenda) February 6, 2022
4. Non-stop noise over there.
This is not good…
yeah i sleep with a white noise machine ive been married to him for almost 11 years
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 31, 2022
5. This is true.
Take your pick.
You can either have a good day or your husband can put a bookshelf together, you cannot have both
— Maryfairyboberry??♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) February 5, 2022
6. First and last name.
How intimate!
today I discovered my husband still has me in his phone as “Elyssa Brooklyn” which is SO FUNNY because he’s still in my phone as “don’t pick up”
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) January 30, 2022
7. How can I measure up to this?
You’re making me look bad!
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) February 6, 2022
8. She’ll never tell…
Why do they do this?
My wife knows exactly where she wants to go for dinner, she’s just not telling anyone.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) February 1, 2022
9. Sick burn!
He meant the figure skating competition.
Husband, watching the Olympics: I could totally do that.
Me: Drive the Zamboni?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 7, 2022
10. You stole their joke.
Good job!
My 7yo: If today is Tuesday, then why isn’t tomorrow Threesday?
Me:
Me, later to my wife: If today is Tuesday, then why isn’t tomorrow Threesday?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 1, 2022
11. A classic joke.
But she’s heard it before…
Asked my wife for her help using the stud finder since she clearly had experience finding one before. Unamused. Her: “You can only use that joke once.” … somewhere, another dad chuckles and nods his head.
— John Keim (@john_keim) February 5, 2022
Are you livin’ the married life?
If so, tell us how it’s going in the comments.
Thanks a lot!
