Listen, we want you to level with us…
Is your spouse in the doghouse right now or are you two enjoying some serious wedded bliss?
Either way, we think you’re gonna love these tweets about livin’ the married life!
Let’s get it started!
1. You need to get out of that house!
You’re in big trouble now.
My wife’s favorite spatula for I don’t know…20 years broke on me this morning. Could I stay with you for just a couple of days?
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) November 15, 2021
2. It’s happening!
Never thought this day would come.
My wife just lit her Yankee Christmas Cookie candle so I guess it’s really happening.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 9, 2021
3. Can’t keep a secret.
Let’s just hope he can keep his mouth shut.
If I “promise I won’t tell anyone” you should just assume that I am going to immediately tell my husband the next time I see him.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) November 14, 2021
4. I hope you’re doing it the right way.
If not, this is how you do it.
If you don’t whisper insults in a demonic voice to your husband over the baby monitor when he’s trying to nap, what kind of crap wife are you anyways?!
— Lil Bit ? (@LizerReal) November 9, 2021
5. Totally accurate.
This has happened to you, right?
The jack-o’-lanterns on my neighbor’s porch look like my wife and I twenty minutes into an argument about where to eat. pic.twitter.com/UXwo33AZhi
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 15, 2021
6. Will you keep it down!
This is gonna get ugly.
My husband’s idea of togetherness is making noise in any room I’m in.
— Teri Daniels (@bylinetd) November 11, 2021
7. What can you do to change this?
This is not good…
My husband eating pizza in bed over our new duvet cover shows he’s really not scared of me anymore
— Natasha (@dramadelinquent) November 7, 2021
8. This is Marriage 101.
You better not mess it up!
Welcome to marriage: You now have TV shows you aren’t allowed to watch without your spouse.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) November 10, 2021
9. He has a one-track mind.
Some guys, jeez…
Husband: *looking at the Amazon packages at the front door*
Me: My eyes are up here.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 11, 2021
10. Sets the tone for the whole day.
Gotta beat them to the punch.
Secret to a successful marriage is to wake up and be the first one to say, “I didn’t sleep well”
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 13, 2021
11. Finally figured it out.
Now it all makes sense!
I had to work late. In my absence, my husband went to the grocery store and is now cooking dinner.
In light of this development, my new office hours are now extended until 7 pm every day.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 9, 2021
12. Is this the same dog?
You’re sure about that?
I left my dog alone with my wife for 4 days! pic.twitter.com/sORXARtAYf
— Jess Salomon (@jess_salomon) November 14, 2021
Be straight with us…
How’s it going in your household these days?
Give us an update in the comments! Thanks!
