Good idea or bad idea…?
That is the question today, my friends…
Because we’re going to hear from folks on AskReddit about how they really feel about open relationships.
Check out what they had to say!
1. Gotta be on the same page.
“It’s morally fine as long as everybody’s on the same page and not jealous but people who are theoretically open to it tend to find themselves unprepared when the rubber actually meets the road.
The only threesomes I’ve ever heard of that actually worked out are between a couple and a third that’s a stranger to both of them, or everyone involved is a stranger/acquaintance with no emotional attachment to each other.”
2. To each their own.
“I personally couldn’t do it.
I like being with one person but I don’t judge those who prefer it.”
3. Heck no.
“I have a hard enough time seeing my family and his for the holidays.
I can’t imagine having another one to take into account.”
4. Bad idea.
“It’s always the same story too, husband fancies some chick, talks wife into open relationship so he can fool around with chick, wife reluctantly agrees, husband has some fun until the chick gets bored, suddenly hubby realizes it’s hard to find someone else to hook up with, meanwhile wife is going through more sausage than Oktoberfest.
Husband gets jealous, wife says “you wanted this” relationship comes apart at the seams.
I’ve seen it happen to like 5 different dudes.”
“The “classic” is the married middle-aged couple whose ‘spark’ has d**d but they’re desperately trying to save their marriage.
The wife agrees to explore~ her bisexuality so they go trolling every app and poly group looking for a unicorn (hot bi babe).
Their desperation is off-putting, and no rational human being will agree to join this obviously doomed, miserable situation.”
6. One and done.
“I’m naturally monogamous.
When I’m with somebody, everybody else falls off my radar and doesn’t look s**y anymore.”
7. Speaking from experience.
“My husband and I did it…very enthusiastically… for about 6 years.
We made the decision to try it after 24 years of marriage and because neither of us had had any other partners before we met. For us it was a fantastic experience. We did foursomes, threesomes, clubs and s** parties, and played separately as opportunities presented themselves.
We never had issues with jealousy but we had a very strong relationship with a high degree of trust. We definitely saw a lot of marriages fail due to those issues. Eventually we sort of…faded out of it tho. It is just a lot of work.
Finding people with the right chemistry-the on line dating scenes, going to the clubs, the meet up’s that don’t always work: it’s exhausting. But for us it was definitely worth it. And if my hubby came to me tomorrow saying that he’d met someone he’d like to f**k, I’d still be cool with it.”
8. Good luck.
“I was in one for about 4 years.
My wife back then pitched it to me and I was curious. Of course you’re thinking, “ I get to have s** with other women and my wife is cool with it? Sign me up!”
So, I did. I got Tinder accounts and met others.
Soon thereafter though problems started popping, jealousy, lying and lack of trust towards my wife.
Come to find out, she had a side guy long before she proposed the open relationship angle. I thought the met organically and was cool with it, as I was meeting people too. But I suppose the fact that it was no longer taboo for her made her crazy jealous that I was getting attention and giving attention to new women.
The whole thing imploded. It became exhausting and an emotional drain.
We ended up getting a divorce and haven’t spoken in 5 years.
I’ve met a lot of great people that can make it work, but that percentage is super small. It’s really hard especially if you have multiple partners at once.
I don’t judge others in them, but wish them luck.”
9. Could be…
“I think some married people want to be poly or open because it makes it easier to transition towards divorce with less guilt.”
“It happened to me. Dude, in a whole other city, bought her a place and for a solid year just thought I was a roommate of hers. I was head over heels with the lady, too. From my end, everything seemed to be working out until a mutual friend who worked with her brought it up.
I ended up losing my apartment because resigning time came around, and my partner just dipped. Left me with covering her share of rent and no time to find a roommate before o had to move out.
I have no problem with open relationships even now, but I’m a hell of a lot more selective now on who i give my attention and energy to. Which gets lonely, but at least I’m not getting lied to.”
11. Too painful.
“Nearly destroyed me.
Then I found someone who just wants to be with me, now we’re happy married.
Wish them the best, but yeah, nothing personal I just never want to talk to you or see you again. Some pains are too great (at least for now).”
12. Trying to make it easier.
“Yeah, I personally suspect that the majority of partners that propose open relationships are people trying to ease the transition to breakup, people who are trying to fix their broken relationship without addressing the actual issue(s), and people who struggle with serial limerence and commitment.”
Now it’s your turn.
Tell us what you think in the comments.
We’d love to hear from you!