Every family has its problems, but it has to be pretty terrible to be part of one that is truly toxic.
And these folks opened up on Buzzfeed to talk about when they realized that their families were T-O-X-I-C.
Let’s see what they had to say.
1. In pain.
“I had become really sick and was in so much excruciating pain that sometimes walking was almost impossible, and we didn’t know why at that time. My mother needed a ride to an out-of-town doctor’s appointment, which my husband agreed to do; however, our child was at a summer day camp.
I asked a mutual friend of my mom if he could pick up my child because I would have had to walk to get them and he agreed. My mother knew about this arrangement. My mom, however, called me the morning of and told me that her dog had to go to a vet appointment and that the mutual friend was going to do it now, and I would have to make new arrangements to get my child.
I was devastated that my mom chose her dog over me. When I confronted her on it she was like, ‘But what if Mikey d**d?’ At this point, we didn’t know if I could have been dying. Any time her dog sneezes, she freaks out — but if her child gets sick, who cares?”
“When my mother tried to convince me to take an ex back because ‘he only hit me once’ — after he punched me in the face.
In my mom’s words to me: ‘You’re just a gardener and he’s a lawyer.'””
“When I was a teenager, I went to the ER because I ingested too many laxatives to lose weight.
I overheard the doctor talking to my mother in the hallway saying that I had an eating disorder and needed professional help.
She responded that ‘I was too heavy’ to have that.”
4. Bad siblings.
“I was not blessed with good siblings (total of 8). I once tolerated years of shunning, humiliation, and a**se since I was 10. I was told I was not part of the family and if I d**d, no one would care.
I was to not participate in holidays and (as an adult) wouldn’t get invited to any family functions. Christmas was the worst. They would say I wasn’t worth being a part of their celebration, then exchange gifts between each other and my parents in front of me every year. One Christmas, I was pregnant and due early February.
They began to insult, humiliate, and laugh at me. It even triggered me to go into early labor. I delivered a healthy baby boy, however, I lost the child years later. I contacted them all to notify them but was ghosted — so I mourned alone.
My parents enabled the a**sive treatments but now regret not correcting each of their behaviors. Today, marks 10 years that I LET THEM GO! I have my career, live far away from them, and I am living my best years with my wonderful husband, adult children, and in-laws.”
5. Never going back.
“I was laid off from a my favorite job, which also included touring with a band. My identity, my road family, and the fans were my entire world — and I was totally lost.
I went to visit my family in another state, because I needed to get out of town and regroup. The day that I arrived, my sister picked me up with her 10-year-old daughter in the car. They left me in the backseat and basically talked crap about everyone in our family. I had a full-blown panic attack in the middle of the grocery store.
I couldn’t stop crying. However, my sister decided that she couldn’t deal with me. So she called our dad who lived in a neighboring town (which was 40 minutes away) and told him to meet her at a place that was halfway. She dumped me on the curb in the snow and drove off
. She does something like this (or worse) every time I visit. Our dad d**d, and I have no reason to visit that town or her ever again.”
“When my mom told me that between being gay or d**d, she’d prefer that I d**d.”
7. All by yourself.
“I realized when I spent Christmas by myself due to COVID, and how much I loved being away.
My anxiety was gone, I could watch the Christmas movies I loved without anyone telling me they were stupid, and I ate what I wanted without anyone reminding me that women don’t need carbs or asking if I was going to eat ‘all of that.’
I just realized how much I didn’t look forward to being with my family and spending time by myself without anyone criticizing made me feel happier than I have in a long time.”
8. Haven’t spoken since.
“My mother only loved and cared about my older sister. Before I was born, she was broke and living in a small studio.
She got with my father — who never wanted children and was older — because he had decent money and a house. She told me all my life: I was just an anchor baby, only born so my sister could have better.
Then when my mother’s family came into money, my parents divorced, my dad took off, and my mother would literally pay me to not be seen or heard from. Now I have bipolar disorder and intense feelings of abandonment.
I left the day I turned 18 and haven’t spoken to my mother or sister since, but I still struggle with feeling like my life has no purpose, and I was only ever meant to give my mother and sister financial security.”
9. Home from college.
“It may sound minor, but the first time I came home from college after being away for three months, my mother greeted me with: ‘You know, you should wear makeup. It makes your face look so much better.
‘ Then my sister greeted me with a disappointed: ‘Oh, you’re home. When are you going back?’ That’s when I realized I wasn’t thought of as part of the family unit, just an outsider looking in.”
“My paternal grandmother was awful to my mother.
She was passive-aggressive toward her looks, her job, the way she parented my brother and me, and about her marriage to my dad. My dad was an al**holic and pretty a**sive. Things came to a head when I was 16, and he was arrested. Grandma asked us, ‘What did you do to provoke him?’
When I was starting to develop, grandma would comment on my weight all the time. I remember the summer after I turned 12, my boobs went up two cup sizes and suddenly, I had hips and a b**t.
My grandma asked me if I wanted to do Weight Watchers and offered to pay. She has dementia now and lives in a home. Apparently, she’s the ‘sweetest old lady’ now. I don’t care. I refuse to go see her.”
11. Bad behavior.
“When I arranged a birthday lunch for my mom, everyone drove more than an hour to be there. She showed up late even though she lived nearby.
Didn’t greet me or anyone at the table other than the two family members she sat next to, and after she was done eating and opening up her gifts, she left the table while everyone was still eating and celebrating without saying any goodbyes or thank yous. I was so used to her behavior and shrugged it off, but my boyfriend at the time pulled me aside and said that that was the rudest thing he had ever witnessed.
I then realized that I had been normalizing her behavior my entire life rather than calling it out for what it is.”
12. All the blame.
“I’ve been blamed for any misfortune that happened in my family. One time it was when my dad cheated on my mom — not once, not twice, but more than three times. I also got blamed for being such a difficult child by BOTH of my parents, and was told that’s why he cheated on her.”
Do you have any stories like this?
If so, talk to us in the comments.
Thanks in advance!