We hope you’re in the mood to laugh today because you’re about to lay your eyes on 13 tweets that are totally hysterical.
And, better yet, these hysterical tweets are all about being married…so you know the folks who wrote them have some serious ammunition they want to unload!
So let’s see what these married folks had to say…
1. I have a feeling he won’t be saying that again.
What was he thinking…?
I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) November 15, 2022
2. Now you’re in some deep s**t.
You might want to consider leaving town for a few weeks.
Hell hath no fury like a woman who told you exactly where something is but now has to get it herself because you couldn't find it.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, 2022
3. Keep that one to yourself.
Trust us on this one, okay?
Been listening to my wife talk about her work drama and I’m trying to think of the best way to let her know I love her but I think I’m on Denise’s side on this one.
— The Dad (@thedad) October 18, 2022
4. I sincerely hope that he’s taking notes.
Is the quiz at least going to be multiple choice? I hope so…
My husband listens to me like he doesn’t realize there’s going to be a quiz later.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) November 3, 2022
5. This sounds like it’s going really well!
You two are in it for the long haul!
Marriage is amazing because you learn lots of things about yourself. For example, today I learned that my favorite shade of beige curtains is I DON’T CARE PLEASE JUST PICK ONE I’M IN HELL
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) November 15, 2022
6. How can you get over something like that?
You might need to hire a divorce attorney after this…
I once showed my husband a tweet and he read it out loud starting with the person’s username and date it was tweeted and I’ve never really recovered from that.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 14, 2022
7. You better come up with something quick.
Think of something! Anything!
What do you say when you apologize to your wife and she asks, “for what”
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 16, 2022
8. Please shut up.
Who said the spark is gone?!?!
https://twitter.com/AnAppleHat/status/1593030462322409473?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1593030462322409473%7Ctwgr%5Ecb136550d81a6ab6b777ca693d6b5dab4124e9ff%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fasiawmclain%2F33-brutally-funny-marriage-tweets-that-have-me-laughing-so
9. This is a serious development.
It’s like you’re with a whole new person!
My husband changed his brand of boxers for the first time in 35 years. I feel like I'm having an affair.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) November 6, 2022
10. Are you still working on your vertical?
It might be time to give up on that dream…
Me: Which ones do you think will make me jump higher?
Wife: OMG you’re 44 years old, just pick a pair of shoes already.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 7, 2022
11. Something no man ever wants to hear.
OH GOD NO!
My wife can make "Can you come in here please?" sound absolutely terrifying.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) November 3, 2022
12. This is serious stuff.
We wish you luck…
Hope my marriage can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 9, 2022
13. That is so HOT.
Gonna be a SIZZLING night tonight!
Married couples be like I’m gonna tolerate the shit out of you tonight
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) November 16, 2022
Have you seen any funny tweets lately?
If you have, please share them with us in the comments.
Thanks a lot!
