I’m not a woman and I’m not even gonna pretend to know what it’s like to be one, but these responses that we’re about to read will be eye-opening for all the men out there who need to be educated about these important things.
So I hope you’re ready to read and listen.
What do men do that unknowingly scares women?
AskReddit users shared their thoughts.
1. No way.
“Wanting to go to a secluded location if I don’t know you well. People on Tinder would suggest going on hikes or taking a walk after dinner on first dates.
Didn’t even cross their minds that I would not want to be alone with them on a date”
2. Pretty weird.
“Strangers complimenting me on my body really freaks me out. I also don’t like people commenting on my hair, but that’s because I’m ginger and I get a lot of s**ualized comments.
I once got fed up and asked someone to back off when they were doing this. Tried to be polite but firm. He responded by graphically threatening to r**e me and followed me for three blocks.
Not the only time I’ve gotten that kind of reaction. When you say “you have a beautiful figure”, it’s not a confidence boost. I’m not grateful. I’m thinking of the men who have this kind of reaction lurking just under the surface of that complement and I’m wondering if I’m in a dangerous situation.”
“When I was in the service industry, men flirting with me always made me really nervous.
At that point, I was in a position where my whole job is to “make the customer happy” and that would often be very at odds with my personal sense of “this guy is creepy and I want him to go away”.
When you’re on the clock, you have to be nice to people. You can’t just tell a guy who is making you uncomfortable to f**k off nor can you just up and leave (especially if you’re manning the register). You have to sit there and take it and play nice.
And hope to god that they don’t wait for you to get off shift so they can talk to or harass you outside of work.”
4. No means no.
“Thinking no isn’t the final answer. Believing that with a little more convincing and I’ll say yes.
It makes me believe you don’t respect me and worries me how far you will go after I say no.”
“Uber or Lyft drivers who ask me if they’re driving me home.
You don’t need to know that!”
“Parking right next to my car in a dark and/or empty carpark.
I’ve had this conversation with several girlfriends, but when I’ve mentioned it to men they had had no idea about what goes through our mind when we see that.”
7. Keep it down.
“Raising the voice while having an argument with me. Even if the dialogue is constructive overall, raising the voice gives me immense fear.
Men are taller, heavier and stronger than I am, being confronted with a man who is feeling anger towards me is horrific.
To be fair I was a victim of v**lence before so that plays into it. Just don’t scream please.”
8. Don’t do that.
“Grab you from behind at night to SURPRISE you.
My ex boyfriend (6 ft, 185 lbs) did this: he was on a trip and came back 2 days earlier and decided to surprise me. I was coming back from university at 9 pm and I felt that someone grab me and cover my face with their hands when I was about to enter my building.
When I yelled, he let me go and he didn’t understand why I insulted him and got angry.
I don’t cry easily but it took me 3 hours for the tremors to go away.”
“Common female discussion: unsolicited nudie pics.
Equivalent to those creeps who hide behind the bushes trying to flash you. People need to realize 1 in 4 women have had some kind of s**ual a**ault.
Save it for your partner. Or risk getting blasted or viewed as a weirdo perv.”
10. Okay, I got it.
“Excessive and generalised compliments eg ‘you’re so beautiful’ ‘you’re so awesome’ ‘you’re amazing’ over and over again.
A few times it’s fine, but when it gets excessive you realise they’re putting you on a pedestal – and they’re not actually complimenting you, they’re complimenting this dream version of you they’ve made up, evidenced by the fact the compliments are never specific to who you actually are.
Also makes you wonder if they’re the type to think if you insert enough compliments then you’re obliged to give them something back.”
11. Do not disturb.
“Approaching me when I obviously don’t want to be approached.
Like if I have headphones on, I’m on my phone, I’m reading or pretty much any other universal signal of ‘I don’t want to be disturbed’
Some dude once pulled my headphones out of my ears to get my attention and scared me bad enough that I flung my coffee on him. He was not looking to talk to me after that. Not sure what he thought would happen.”
“Calling me “sweet” pet-names like “honey” and “sweetheart” in a normal conversation (like at the shopping counter or anywhere else I ask a question or mention something).
Most of the time they don’t even realize that they start with that and I’m annoyed at it but for some reason it freaks me out when they call me that and I don’t know them. IDK why.”
“Getting pi**ed when I don’t respond immediately.
Back when I had Tinder, I can’t tell you how many great conversations and connections were ruined because I don’t live on my phone and had to put my phone down to talk to a friend or go to the bathroom, come back to a line of slurs from a guy because I “ditched” him.”
What other things do men do that scare women but they don’t realize it?
We’d like to hear from you in the comments.
Please and thank you!