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You know that it’s gotta suck if a burglar goes into a house and immediately regrets doing it because he or she realizes they picked a really LOSER of a place.
But I’m sure it happens, right?
Let’s hear from AskReddit users about what they think a burglar would see that would make them realize they picked the wrong house to rob.
1. Blew it.
“Plastic forks, plastic cups, CRT television, foldable metal chair is the only type of furniture…f**k this guy.
Imma steal the toilet seat because I broke in and I am going to steal something da**it.””
2. Uh oh!
“Hardcore s** gear in literally every room of the house and the sound of a creak just behind him.”
3. Wow!
“Posters of Dolph Lundgren.
True Story.
4. That hurts.
“His own back after breaking his neck tripping over my 25-lb Maine Coon who target-locks any ankles in the dark.”
5. He did the right thing.
“Afamily member of mine who seems to enjoy going to jail told me that he called CPS during a burglary once because there was a young child alone, tied to the couch in a house he hit.
He knew he f**ked up because he knew he would have to say “so I was burglarizing this house and then I heard a child cry…”.”
6. Not going in there.
“A burglar would even make it inside my house.
I have a 100lb German sheperd that doesn’t like people.
He’s got a mean loud bark and any stranger who tried to walk in after hearing it has it coming.”
7. You’re too late.
“Me already in the house stealing stuff.
Too late bi**h.
Rob the neighbors house cause this one’s mine!”
8. That’ll do it.
“I forget the comedian who said it. but get naked, oil myself down, grab an ax.
When he gets to where you are just smile and say ” I have been waiting for you” in a crazy voice.”
9. Keep it down!
“A small, yappy dog.
You know the ones.
The ones that will wake up the whole f**king neighborhood while attacking your ankles.
Big dogs are usually untrained and can easily be distracted with hot dogs.”
10. Creepy.
“Wasn’t there a youtube guy who would sit down and stare at a camera for 4 hours every day.
One day someone broke into his house and saw him sitting and staring at the camera for a few minutes and then quietly left.”
11. Good idea.
“When I lived off-campus in Arizona during university, me and my roommates kept an oar upstairs in case someone broke in.
Because living in a land-locked state a good distance from any significant body of water, if someone’s coming at you with an oar, you’ve got to assume they’re a different kind of crazy and not afraid to rock your s**t.”
12. They’ll be bored…
“My vacation slides going back to 1976…
The Bicentennial. We went to colonial Williamsburg…”
13. LOL.
“My mother saying “Oh you are here! This is the list. Let’s start with….”
Ugh!”
14. Trapped.
“Have a bunch of traps set up, so when he sets them off.
He gets Rick rolled in a bunch of weird and different ways.”
15. This is kind of scary.
“A photograph of a lighthouse on the side of a mountain, standing alone in the middle of a vast desert. When the burglar peers closer, they can see a faint red light, blinking on and off, at the top of the lighthouse.
When they turn away from the photograph, they realise all streetlights have gone dark. Peering through the nearest window, the burglar can no longer see the street outside the house – in its place is an expanse of sand, stretching off into the darkness of night.
There are no neighbouring houses. There is only sand. In the distance, the sound of faint drum beats can be heard. The beats are getting louder.”
Now it’s your turn.
Tell us what you think about this in the comments.
We can’t wait to hear from you!
