Guess who’s in charge?
Not you!
Ouch!
No one wants to hear that, right?
But I guess sometimes it can be necessary…
But was this woman out of line when she said this to her husband?
Take a look at her story and see what you think.
AITA for telling my husband the nanny is in charge?
“I want to preface this by saying that I am aware this is a very privileged issue but I’m trying to get some perspective on my opinion.
My husband and I have 3 kids that are 10 months, 3 years and 6 years old. My husband has a high profile job and it means he’s gone often. I work a regular 9-5. We originally used daycare for our oldest but my middle was born right when the pandemic began, so we hired a nanny.
She originally worked when I did. But by the time baby came around, I was very overwhelmed doing bath and bedtime on my own, on top of developing postpartum depression. After a breakdown, we spoke with the nanny and she agreed to adjust her hours so she’s helping me with dinner, bath and bed.
We’ve gotten close over the past 6 months doing this. In many ways, she’s become like a third parent to the kids. She’s so good with them. We’ve created a routine that works well. I tend to the baby during bath and bed, she handles the older 2. It’s a nice rhythm and my mental health has gotten so much better.
My husband isn’t traveling all the time but most nights, he isn’t even home for dinner and bed. He will help me weekends he’s home. But because he’s gone so often, he’s reluctant to be firm with the kids.
There are times he’s come home when our nanny is there. He tries to help her with bath and bed, but allows the boys to rough house, lets them break the routine and it seriously throws them off and delays bedtime.
My nanny shared with me she feels awkward. Obviously she doesn’t want to undermine her employer but it just makes her job harder. But my husband also doesn’t want her to go home when he arrives as he says he can’t handle it alone.
I told him if that’s the case, then he needs to defer to the nanny and follow her lead. She knows our boys best and she has to deal with the aftermath when they don’t listen and give her a hard time.
My husband feels that she’s just an employee and he’s the dad. His salary does pay for her. However, I don’t feel this is fair to her.
I told him he either follows her lead for bed and bath or he doesn’t help at all. He told me I’m allowing the nanny to take over and replace him. AITA?”
And here’s what Reddit users had to say about this.
One reader said she’s NTA and that it’s clear her husband doesn’t want to parent.
Photo Credit: Reddit
Another Redditor agreed and said they know what the husband is up to.
Photo Credit: Reddit
And this individual had a similar experience while working as a nanny and shared their story.
Photo Credit: Reddit
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!
