There are certain touchy subjects in life that are usually best avoided…and I think we can all agree that miscarriages are one of the big ones.
And that’s why a woman reached out to the Reddit community to ask if she was wrong for finally getting fed up with her sister because she keeps talking about her miscarriage.
Well, this should be interesting…
She took to Reddit’s “Am I The *sshole” page to ask for advice from the readers there. Let’s see what happened.
AITA for saying my sister needs to stop bringing up her miscarriage for attention?
“Okay this is a doozy, so please strap in and bear with me. For context here, my sister is 30, I am 22.
Ten years ago, my sister had a miscarriage. Obviously, it was devastating for her and the whole family and it took her a couple of years to fully heal from it. We’re still not 100% sure why it happened, but it was a one off and she’s since had three very healthy, beautiful children, including a set of twins.
So here’s the thing. My sister and I don’t really get on. She resented me as a kid because she had to share mum’s attention and because she thought mum left her dad to be with mine. Never really grew out of that resentment and she was pretty much my biggest bully throughout childhood and my teenage years. One thing she absolutely cannot stand is when mum and I do things without her, or when mum pays more attention to me than to her.
When this happens she calls mum and says she’s feeling really upset about the miscarriage and without fail mum goes running. This includes a trip to Paris I took mum on for her birthday earlier this year, which she cut short because sister said she needed her. Also includes when I had a manic episode so bad I was hospitalised and sister managed to need mum every time she was planning to visit me and so she never did.
Note, these times when mum is spending more time with me than her are the only times sister brings up what happened and certainly the only times she still gets so upset about it.
So recently I was sick. Like, don’t leave the bathroom for days, can only keep water down sick. Didn’t manage to get the doctor, but I think it was norovirus. It lasted about a week Mum was popping in daily on her way home from work to check on me and stuff. On the last day of being seriously unwell, when I felt I could eat again, Mum offered to make me some soup while she was there, which I accepted.
She was halfway through making it when sister called her saying she was upset about the miscarriage and she told me I’d have to finish it myself because she had to go. I didn’t say anything to Mum and I finished making the soup, but I sent my sister a text saying she really needs to stop bringing it up for attention because she can’t bear me getting some instead.
I guess she told mum and her dad because I’m hearing from all sides what a horrible, insensitive, selfish bastard I am and how dare I say that to her.
I understand she may still be traumatised, I just think it’s really weird how that trauma solely manifests whenever I’m getting attention and she isn’t. AITA?”
And now it’s time to see how folks on Reddit responded.
This person said that even though they experienced a miscarriage, they don’t bring it up. EVER.
This woman has sadly had many miscarriages, but she thinks the writer’s sister needs to seek therapy if she is still having trouble dealing with her own.
But this reader said that everyone has a different reaction to a miscarriage and it is perfectly reasonable for someone to still be devastated by the experience many years later.
Here’s a hot take: this person blames pretty much everyone, including the writer for enabling her sister.
Take a look.
And this person argued that miscarriages are very common and that they think the writer’s sister is obviously still bringing it up for attention.
Finally, this guy made a good point: he said that while miscarriages are common, they’re also still very emotionally scarring, so no one should just another person’s experience.
Okay, now it’s your turn to weigh in.
Tell us what you think of this interesting situation.
Please talk to us in the comments. Thanks!