Weddings can be expensive and a ton of work.
When friends get married, we all want to support them and help make their special day special, but that can be a huge commitment too.
That’s why one bride recently went viral for her video about telling prospective bridesmaids up front exactly what she expected from them.
Lisa Torres, an auditor from San Antonio, Texas, is organized to say the least.
I don’t know what all is involved in being an auditor, but it makes sense that a good one would be detail oriented and budget conscious.
But if she ever decided she wanted to be a project manager–or a wedding planner–I’d say she’s definitely got the skills for those too.
On April 12, Lisa posted a very special video to her TikTok account, @lisalovesrandom, of the day her boyfriend proposed:
I am a fiancée. ? #Engaged #EngagedAF #Engagement #Proposal #ISaidYes #fyp #foryoupage
Since then, her videos have become extremely wedding-centric, which–yeah–she’s got a lot to plan before next year!
That sweet video garnered a couple thousand views, but in June, Lisa went viral for her stitch response to another TikTok about wedding woes:
All jokes all love ! #shotsforscotts
The brief video simply stated:
When you agree to be a bridesmaid without realizing it’ll cost 3 whole paychecks and every second of your PTO for the year.
Lisa’s response video explained how much of a burden the whole ordeal could be to unsuspecting bridesmaids.
She called for the normalization of setting expectations upfront. Watch her video for yourself:
#stitch with @stephanieberman7 I was scared to have a #transparency letter in the #bridesmaidproposalbox but it WORKED OUT. #wedding #weddingtiktok
Responses to Lisa’s post varied.
A lot of people felt that brides should cover everything, even the bridesmaid’s dresses and their travel.
I didn’t think that had ever been the tradition, but according to brides.com, transportation and accommodation for bridesmaids is actually listed among the bride’s family’s expenses! Their dresses, however, are not.
Other users asked to see the actual letter that Lisa sent her bridesmaids, because based on her summary, you might think she was being a bit of a bridezilla.
But Lisa was happy to share it:
Reply to @silly16boo Your #transparencyletter may look different, & that’s okay. We envision different things.❤️ #wedding #weddingtiktok #bridesmaids
And other than the mandatory bridesmaid’s trip, which might seem like a big ask to some, her expectations were pretty reasonable.
And hey, if that trip was the one thing she really wanted, that’s her prerogative. She’s the bride.
If you, like other viewers, were curious about what comprised a “bridesmaid proposal box,” here you go:
Reply to @hajjibaby #greenscreen LOVED the work of @greenegirlscreations! Do what YOU want for the bridesmaidproposalbox. ? Have fun making them. ?
I didn’t even know this was a tradition (Sorry bridesmaids!). I received one for a wedding I was in, but I thought that bride was just extra nice.
I like the idea of setting expectations upfront and in clear, precise language, not just with respect to wedding parties, but honestly–everything.
Humans have a tendency to beat around the bush and not say what they mean, and to assume an awful lot.
And we all know what happens when you assume.
What do you think of Lisa’s letter to her bridesmaids? Should everyone start doing it? Let us know in the comments!