There are a lot of ups and downs between two people when they decide to get married.
The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between…
And these tweets are gonna prove exactly what I’m talking about!
Let’s have some laughs about married life!
1. Not listening…again.
Will he ever learn?
Me: *tells my husband exactly where I’m going and what time I’ll be back*
My husband: *texting me* Where did you go and what time will you be back?
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) February 4, 2022
2. Good idea!
I’m gonna try this.
My wife was going to throw away an old vibrator, so I took it and taped my toothbrush around it.
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) January 31, 2022
3. Can’t keep up.
Who has the time to watch all of them?
For Valentine’s Day I’m going to watch and respond to the hundreds of reels my wife has dm’d me over the last 6 months.
— Jess Salomon (@jess_salomon) February 5, 2022
4. Marriage problems.
Not a pretty picture.
The worst part about gay marriage in my experience is that all of our clothes get mixed together when we do laundry and then it takes me like an hour to dig through everything to find the one outfit I wear every day.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 28, 2022
5. She’s had it.
You blew it!
Man-Cold Diary, Day 3:
My wife has decided to remarry.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 26, 2022
6. Of course, they are.
No question about that.
Since we married, I put all my husband’s hoodies on his side of the closet so I have more room, but he still knows they’re mine.
— Ousa Medusa (@MedusaOusa) February 6, 2022
7. It’s gonna work!
Those air fryers can do anything.
My air fryer arrives today. I just know this will be thing that saves my marriage.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) February 2, 2022
8. This is true love.
We should all be so lucky.
Love is forwarding your spouse emails with coupons from their favorite fast food restaurants
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) February 1, 2022
9. Just do it!
It’s what she really wants.
Give her what she really wants this Valentine’s Day – do the dishes and put the kids to bed
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) February 7, 2022
10. You’re ruining his night.
And his life.
Annoying my husband while watching The Book of Boba Fett:
Is that furry one a Klingon?— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) February 6, 2022
11. Took you long enough.
This is when you storm out of the house crying.
Me: *gets a haircut*
[3 years later]
Wife: Did you get a haircut?
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) February 6, 2022
Do you have any funny marriage stories for us?
Fill us in in the comments.
Thanks a lot!
