Is it wrong to turn down a cash gift?

Okay, how about this: is it wrong to turn down a cash gift if it’s meant for your kids?

Yeah…that’s a tough one…

Check out this man’s story and see if you think she was out of line for what she did…

WIBTA for refusing a large cash gift on behalf of my children?

“My two kids are 15F and 13F.

My dad very unceremoniously left our family when I turned 20. He wasn’t a bad guy necessarily: to him, he fulfilled his obligation to raise me to an adult and wanted to cut ties and live his own life because he became a father very young. In the 25 years since he left, he’s lived his dream with lots of travel.

I know it shouldn’t have affected me as much as it did, since I was an adult, but it devastated my mom and he promised he’d keep in touch with all of us. He never did. Since then, I’ve only spoken to him 4 or 5 times and I haven’t met him. My mom has never spoken to him again. This was all on his end: we tried to no avail.

When I had kids of my own, we didn’t pretend I didn’t have a dad or he passed or anything like that. I was always forthright and told my daughters that he decided not to be a dad anymore and it hurt grandma and me deeply.

If my kids had any questions, I told them the truth with how it affected us, but also more menial things like how he was, who he was, and so on. My kids have a generally negative view of him and they came to their own conclusions given all the facts with no hyperbole or sugarcoating.

He emailed me to talk on the phone last week and he told me he’s d**ng with Stage 4 lung cancer. We talked a bit about him leaving and he said he doesn’t regret his decision because his life was “taken from him”.

He said he respects that I turned into a well adjusted adult and he’s proud that I’ve got so far, even without him, but that he doesn’t love me and has no intention of seeing me before he goes.

He did say, however, that he is dividing his assets between a few close friends and wanted to leave $25,000 each to both of my kids. He was a penny pincher but still lived modestly, he only ever worked to maintain, never to grow, so I don’t doubt this is a large chunk of his total assets. He said it’s only right that they get this money because they’re his only grandchildren.

I’m conflicted because accepting this money means, at least how my brain rationalizes it, that I forgive him or that it’s okay or healthy to have lived how he did. I don’t want my kids to get a lump sum and suddenly have a change of heart about him. I’m thinking of refusing the money on their behalf because it sets a bad example. My wife stands by my decision.

But WIBTA to my kids for taking this choice from them? They don’t know about it and my plan is to keep them in the dark about it, possibly forever.”

Now let’s see how folks reacted on Reddit.

This person said he would be an a**hole if he turned this money down and he’s doing it out of spite.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user made an excellent point…

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this individual said his behavior is pretty shameless.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think about what happened?

Talk to us in the comments and let us know.

Thanks a million!