Have you ever really laid down the gauntlet and said, “you’re either with me or against me…?”
That’s like something straight out of a movie!
And, no, I’ve never done it, but I hope to someday…
Check out this story from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page and let us know if you think this guy stepped over the line.
AITA For telling my fianceé she’s either with me or against me in this conflict?
“So My fianceè (F, 24) & I (M, 27) got engaged in may and are currently planning for our wedding in Aug. It’s worth mentioning that I’m the sole earner because my fianceé is still in University, I’ve saved up decent amount of money to afford the wedding.
Thing is her parents get involved in everything. From picking the engagement ring on my behalf, to giving opinions on where we should rent and now my FMIL is constantly giving opinions on our wedding. FMIL would follow up on everything we do and make negative comments on things like: the best man, the guest list, and food.
She told my fianceè she didn’t like who I picked to be my best man and wanted me replace him after a big argument but I said no. Though My fianceè said we should have just done it. MIL also wanted me to un-invite people I wanted at the wedding so she could add more guests on her side of family. I said no to that also.
Now the current or biggest conflict between us. MIL called saying she didn’t like the venue we picked which is in our hometown. She wanted me to reconsider but I said no since my fianceé liked it too. But my fianceé came to me yesterday to show me a venue her mom picked and already paid for saying since she paid for it then I should say yes this time.
I was in shock and angry because not only did she not consult us but the venue she picked is 3 towns away where my BIL lives. I immediately thought about my disabled parents who can not travel this distance for health reasons, besides that most of my family won’t attend because of distance. I said absolutely not agreeing on this venue.
My fianceé said she disagreed with me and I had no right to complain because her mom AND dad paid a lot of money for this venue as wedding gift and we should accept it. I calmly explained why I refused and she kept saying I’m refusing on purpose because “I h**e her mom” and am playing cat & mouse with her. I bluntly said her mom is indeed making this a game and told my fianceé she’s either with me or against on this issue.
She either backs me up or there won’t be anymore wedding planning. She got upset and started crying asking what she’s going to tell her mom and why I was making her choose between me & her parents but I just feel like she’s refusing to see why I don’t want this specific venue. So what of her brother lives there. I have never been to that town so having the wedding just cause her mom paid for the venue is not ok.
We haven’t talked ever since that argument. My friend called me ungrateful fool for turning away a free wedding venue over distance but I can’t help but feel FMIL did it purposely.”
And here’s how Reddit users reacted.
One person said he’s NTA and that he should realize this incident is a peek into his future.
Another reader agreed and said this mother-in-law could be a HUGE headache.
Another individual brought up a good point: maybe his fiancée is still dependent on her parents financially and that’s what led to this problem…
What do you think about this story?
Let us know in the comments.
We look forward to it!