Let’s play a game, shall we?
Let’s say that a mysterious man walked up to you and offered you $1,000 right then and there if you could make them laugh.
Do you think you could pull it off?
Let’s hope so…
What joke would you tell if someone offered you $1,000 to make them laugh?
Here’s what AskReddit users said.
“How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing, it’s on the house.”
2. The goat.
“Bob and his grandson are sitting on a bench at the top of a hill overlooking the town.
He points to the statue in the center of town and says “See that statue, boy? I made that statue. But do they call me Bob the Mason? No, they don’t.”
He then puts his hand on the seat of the bench they’re on.
“See this bench? I built this bench with my own two hands. But do they call me Bob the Carpenter? No, they don’t.”
He then sighs and says “But you f**k one goat…””
3. Not bad.
“What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic.”
4. The spy joke.
“Three western spies were captured and put in a cell in the Soviet Union. An English spy, a French spy and an Italian spy. First they interrogate the English spy, but he refused to speak.
So they tie him up and t**ture him for two hours until he finally gives in and tells them everything he knew. Next, they interrogate the French spy who also wouldn’t speak, but after 4 hours of t**ture he also couldn’t take anymore and told them everything he knew.
Finally, they interrogate the Italian, who also wouldn’t speak, so they begin to t**ture him. After four hours he still hasn’t spoken, so they continue t**turing him for hours. After enduring a full 24 hours of t**ture, they give up and put him back in the cell. The other two spies are amazed and ask the Italian how managed to go on for so long without speaking.
The Italian replies “I would have told them everything after just one hour, but I couldn’t speak because my hands were tied up.”
“This is my step ladder…
I never knew my real one.”
“Why was Mrs. Pepper disappointed?
Because DR. Pepper comes in a can.”
7. Wait for it…
“A man walks to the hospital and says that he has a brain infection and that he will d** soon.
The doctor says: ”So, let’s transplant your brain! Which brain would you like?”
The man acts suprised that he can pick a brain.
”A millionaire’s brain is $250,000. A brain of an athlete is $500,000, and a politician’s brain is $1,500,000.”
The man says: ”Why is the politician’s brain so expensive?”
The doctor says: ”Unused, good as new.””
“My ex-wife still misses me…
But her aim is getting better!”
9. Poor sandwich…
“A ham sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says “You’ll have to leave. We don’t serve food here”.”
10. So close…
“And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you shall receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.”
“You know, T-Shirt really is short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt.
Because of the short arms…”
12. Pretty good.
“The thunder god went for a ride upon his favourite filly “I’m Thor!” he cried.
The horse replied “You forgot your thaddle, thilly!”.”
13. One more for good measure.
“Why don’t blind people skydive?
I don’t know…but it scares the s**t out of the dogs.”
How about you?
What joke would you tell if you could win $1,000?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know! Thanks!