If you know a friend or a family member is always gonna spill the beans, it’s probably a good idea to not tell them everything, right?

But what if that person happens to be your son?

That’s what this dad is dealing with and he wants to know if he’s acting like an a**hole.

Let’s take a look.

AITA for not sharing any family news with my son growing up because he’d tell my ex everything, resulting in legal issues?

“My son grew up living with both my ex-wife and myself.

My ex is extremely high conflict and due to her job as a lawyer, used the courts to inflict as much damage on my life as she could. Which I never did understand because she pushed for the divorce and claimed to have lost feelings for me.

So naturally, I avoided sharing any details with her and usually gave one word text replies for things involving our son.

This worked until my son turned 11 and I found out that my son was telling my ex everything he was hearing in our home, even recording videos and sending them to her.

This continued even after therapy with my son and explaining to him how damaging over-sharing was.

After wasting thousands of dollars for a pointless legal fight that was started purely because of my son’s spying, my wife and I made the decision to no longer share any information with him that could potentially cause issues. The therapist had suggested this approach.

And unfortunately, this meant we kept all news of any promotions, vacation plans and extended family issues from my son. He only found out about trips while he was on the way to them. This continued until my son turned 19 and my ex remarried, removing me from her focus.

My son is now 20 and has found out that we purposely did this for most of his childhood and he is furious.

He says we treated him as an outsider. I apologized profusely, as did my wife. We tried to explain why we did what we did but he is refusing to give me a chance to resolve this.

He’s gone on a tirade to my parents and siblings and called me a negligent parent.

He also told my ex. And my ex is now suing me for something completely unrelated and that has no standing but I’ll be wasting thousands on a lawyer anyway. Which is what she wants.


Here’s what AskReddit users said about this.

One person said he’s NTA in the least bit.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this individual said that he’s NTA but his ex-wife and son sure are.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this Reddit user said this guy just needs to face reality and see his son for who he truly is.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Let us know in the comments.

Thanks a lot!