Family dynamics can be so complicated and lead to a lot of hard feelings…
And it seems like there’s a lot going on in this story from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page.
Read on to get all the details and let us know what you think in the comments.
WIBTA for taking my daughter to visit my family?
“My wife Jenna (28F) and I (32M) had our daughter Averlea 6 months ago. We’ve been together for 10 years and married for 3.
We both live out of state from our families and neither of us have the best relationship with them, though Jenna’s family have made a lot of effort to come and visit, mend bridges, and interact with Averlea since she was born. My family (mom 52F, stepdad 55M, 3 younger brothers 17-21M) live an extra few hours away and are yet to meet her.
It’s important to note that my mom and Jenna do NOT get along. Mom has always had something to say about Jenna and the older Jenna’s gotten and the longer it’s gone on the less Jenna has been willing to let it go over her head. This has resulted in us spending the last 10 years doing separate holiday visits.
My plan this year was to drop Jenna at her parents place safely after the flight and then carry on the extra 3 hour drive with Averlea to mine, and then pick her up on December 23rd so we could spend Christmas Day as a family. Jenna’s response was simply “No.”
In our house, no is usually a complete sentence, but I asked her why and her response was “we talked about this when I was pregnant. You never had my back with your mom so I don’t trust you to advocate for Averlea, and since she’s made no effort to be around her, I’m not comfortable with letting you take our baby into that environment without me, and I am not going to go somewhere it’s evident I’m not wanted”
I brought up the fact that I want my daughter to know my step/parents and her side of the family and that Jenna was stopping that from happening, and how unfair it was to my mom given that her parents have been here at least twice a month since she’s been born and have been able to have that bonding time.
I told her I would drop her off and take Averlea anyway, or me and Averlea would fly in to my parents home airport, but one way or another she would be meeting them this Christmas. That is when Jenna just cracked and broke.
She started BAWLING and repeating how she “couldn’t believe I’d put her in that position” and when I told this story to my best friend at the pub, even he raised his eyebrow and said that it wasn’t a good move. Jenna has been sleeping on the couch and I’m beginning to feel awful and second guess everything.
WIBTA or am I right in standing my ground here?”
Here’s what Reddit users had to say.
One person said he’s an a**hole and that he’s breaking an agreement with his wife.
Another reader agreed and said his marriage will never be the same if he does this.
And this Reddit user said this guy’s behavior is sad and pathetic.
What do you think?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!