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We all want to be good role models for our kids. But sometimes it’s hard to know exactly the right thing to say or do.
That’s why one mom, Nevada Shareef, made a TikTok video asking other parents to name things about the way they raised their kids that others might find strange or surprising.
Cayce LaCorte, a writer and fellow TikTok user from South Carolina, answered the call with a surprising piece of advice on chastity that she shares with her five daughters, ages seven to sixteen.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjaNw5Ag0tt/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
She describes herself on her Instagram page as “Actually a bunch of opinions in a trench coat,” which is a marvelously accurate description. In the video, Cayce states:
I’m going to get a lot of s**t for this, but what’re you going to do? I’ve been raising my five daughters to believe that there is no such thing as virginity.
That statement on it’s own probably would have been enough to make her go viral.
In the video, which racked up 2.7 million views in about six weeks, she goes on to explain:
“It is a patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose — other than making women feel bad about ourselves. Just because some guy randomly sticks his penis in you at some point in your life does not change your worth, it does not change who you are, it doesn’t do anything other than it happened.
S*x is important. It’s a big deal. It should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time…it’s just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous,
Cayce also says that she’s not worried about this particular point of view leading to promiscuity.
She’s still teaching her daughters right and wrong and how to be good people.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9pOWVNAFxm/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Cayce’s hot take on women’s bodies lit up social media across multiple platforms.
Her video especially resonated with victims of assault, as Cayce explained to Buzzfeed:
“We all have our own ‘rape/assault/pressured into doing something I didn’t want’ story. We can all empathize. For an entire society to tell you that your worth is tied to your virginity or purity, then have someone take that from you?! It’s heartbreaking and infuriating and makes me want to smash things.
We are so f**king angry about all of this, and if I can make a single survivor feel better about themselves, then I’ve already succeeded.”
The popularity of her video may seem surprising, but it just shows that women are tired of living by a set of double standards.
“Purity culture is toxic at its core. Women are treated vastly different than men because its roots are steeped in a history of women being property.
Can you imagine what the world would look like if society put half as much effort into making the world a safer place for women, instead of worrying that she’s not a virgin for her husband?”
But of course, not everyone agrees with her.
Some comments even argued physiology with Cayce, but she wasn’t having it, as she explained in this (explicit) response:
@book_mama Reply to @rachelhill200 Respectfully…you’re wrong. #science #thehymenaintshit virginityisamyth #googleit
Cayce’s goal is to help other parents reframe the conversations that they have with their children about s*x.
She told Buzzfeed:
“It’s about the way we force arbitrary rules on ourselves and our kids and miss the big picture. Instead, we could focus on education about pregnancy, STDs, self-worth. How about, instead of making the first time special, make sure it’s always special because that’s the bare minimum you deserve.”
Going viral clearly has its ups and downs, but it looks like more ups than downs for Cayce.
And now, in addition to her blog, where readers can follow her publishing adventures, she has set up a webpage where you can track her progress on a parenting book and YouTube channel.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CL1ohaEAb1S
Cayce has a lot of advice to share about raising strong, independent daughters who know the meaning of consent.
Check out the full video!
@book_mama
Now, let us know if you agree with her no-nonsense approach in the comments!
Thanks, fam!
