When I was a kid and we’d be watching a movie as a family on our little TV, my dad always had his hand firmly on the remote. He was watching. He was waiting. He was vigilant.
And whenever someone said a naughty word that we kids weren’t supposed to hear, whenever they might dare to cuss a swear, he would immediately mash the volume down button.
This was maybe the most ineffective method he could have conjured.
First of all, we’d all already heard the word. The volume down was a reaction to the profanity, meaning the damage was done before the mitigation began. Second, we were now just staring on as the scene continued in silence, because now the volume was at zero, and would there remain until some arbitrary time when he deemed it safe to raise it up again.
So in summary, we heard the swears and missed everything else. It was kind of a perfectly useless attempt to prevent awkwardness. But I still get it, because when things get awkward with parent movie time – they can get TRULY awkward.
what's the most awkward scene from a film you watched with your parents? mine is probably the sex scene in the terminator.
— jason c. (@netw3rk) April 14, 2021
Prepare to get tense.
14. Black Swan
You can’t just dance away from that.
Went to go see Black Swan with my mom, my little sister, and my sister’s dance teacher, cause we all thought it was just a ballet movie. I wanted to die. https://t.co/xqCkZcRrEc
— Maria (@lightsabersansa) April 14, 2021
Look, if you simply must know…
Watched Moonlight w the family, sister missed the beach handjob scene, kept asking us what she missed and a after a minute of me n mum giving half answers my dad bellowing “HE PLAYED WITH THE OTHER BOY’S PENIS” https://t.co/HwSm95o1Dy
— saz (@awashromans) April 14, 2021
Just because they’re family doesn’t mean it’s a family film.
My partner's brother & sister-in-law swore up and down that watching Stepbrothers with their mom would be a fun family activity.
Then Will Farrell's balls came out. https://t.co/zYyYeyu1vp
— Exactly Half of an Eleven-Pound Black Forest Ham (@MrReciprocity) April 14, 2021
11. Rocky Horror Picture Show
So you caught a flat.
How ’bout that.
my mom drunkenly decided i needed 'sex ed' and had me watch rocky horror picture show when i was 10 https://t.co/zBVnrBWSEi
— sea bunny (@exesoterica) April 14, 2021
10. Magic Mike
I’m sorry, but you don’t get any sympathy for this one.
Not my parents, but I went to see Magic Mike with my aunt and sister…the opening where you see someone using the penis pump…it's probably the most awkward moment of my relationship with my aunt. We were expecting sexy men, but somehow not that. https://t.co/HMi7GxFixF
— Hallie's ☄️ (@HallieS86) April 14, 2021
9. Mysterious Skin
There’s a bit of grammatical ambiguity in that post you might have wanted to clear up.
Watched MYSTERIOUS SKIN with my parents. Went on facebook and wrote "Watching a movie in which Joseph Gordon-Levitt has gay sex with my parents." The next day a screenshot of that status was the most popular post on reddit https://t.co/Kh9IV6OAqf
— I Don't Want to Tweet Alone (@LingoUnbound) April 14, 2021
8. Friday the 13th
That’s about as bad as it gets.
was with a big group of kids and my friend's parents, who somehow let us watch that Friday the 13th movie where a nice young lady gets skewered and ripped in half in somewhat graphic tent coitus. i don't remember exactly but p sure it was like 5th grade https://t.co/aKMO0HDhIL
— Danny Kelly (@DannyBKelly) April 14, 2021
7. Wolf of Wall Street
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I took my parents to see Wolf of Wall Street on Christmas Day. It's Scorsese, right? It's prestige cinema. It's probably a bunch of guys in smoky rooms saying "fuck" a lot.
I was not ready to watch Cocaine Vagina: the Movie with them. https://t.co/vDSd9DfvQe
— ??? ???????? ???? ??????? (@bizmarkiedesade) April 14, 2021
True story: when my sister and her friends watched that movie at a sleepover her friend’s mom had taped over that scene with Barney.
In 1997 my grandfather was going to take my dad, my little brother, and me to the latest James Bond film. It was sold out, so he took us to Titanic instead.
"Draw me like one of your French girls" in a public theater next to my little brother, my dad, and my grandfather. https://t.co/SCABZe7ZgN
— Lethality Jane (@LethalityJane) April 14, 2021
5. Love Actually
Yeah there’s a lot of that.
One Christmas when my mom was visiting, my wife and I thought, “oh hey! Let’s watch Love Actually. Mom will like (most of) it,” while forgetting the Martin Freeman porno stand in scenes. https://t.co/FKTTJ8K2x3
— I Like Cheap Beer (@ILikeCheapBeer) April 14, 2021
4. The 40 Year Old Virgin
Um. Did the title not clue you in?
I watched “40-year-old virgin” with my (almost) humorless mother, a former English teacher who still uses “whom” and “for which” and “of which” in casual conversation. The viewing experience was suboptimal. https://t.co/Lre9DwXiqO
— Andrew Nemec (@AndrewNemec) April 14, 2021
3. Brokeback Mountain
He wasn’t wrong.
I watched Brokeback Mountain with my mom and Dad and my dad said “well, looks like those guys are havin’ sex” as he was eating gummy candy https://t.co/oIGUzmGyGd
— frankfurt school gym class (@rasputinmethod) April 14, 2021
2. American Pie
Do y’all just never look up movies?
The whole of American Pie at the cinema with my dad when I was 14, and before we'd 'had the talk'. The film ended up being an unexpected 'the talk', after which we NEVER DISCUSSED IT AGAIN. https://t.co/bJFFaswpdp
— Matt Pellett (@Pelloki) April 14, 2021
1. Boogie Nights
Lol it was so embarrassing they had to get it out of the house.
When I was 14, I watched the first 15 minutes of Boogie Nights before my mom ejected the DVD and we drove it back to Blockbuster. https://t.co/lWl1m5KUMp
— Sean O'Connor (@seanoconnz) April 14, 2021
Sounds like some exciting cinematic experiences.
Have you ever had an awkward movie night with family?
Tell us about it in the comments.