Typos. Aren’t they just the wurst?
I meen, I’m out here everydey, tying to look intelligent and coppable, and these stupid typ os are macking me seem stoopid.
I’m not alone in my struggle though. These people on Reddit know what it’s all about.
1. Finger Lickin’ Good
At work, the people typing up vendor listings for a convention listed the food vendor’s lunch offerings. I was among the proofreaders.
None of us caught the words “fried children” (should have been fried chicken).
So, not MY typo, you know.
2. Public Parts
I worked in the architecture industry for many years. One of the aspects of the job, when we were designing a new building in a community, was to present our plans to the public in a place like a community centre or a school gym, and they would be able to voice their concerns. The presentation materials would usually take the form of panels printed on foam core board and placed around the space; these presentations are called public consultations.
In one instance, we had printed about 30 boards with the title “X Project Public Consultation” at the top, only the “l” had been forgotten in the word “public.” Hilarity ensued.
Luckily the mistake was caught before they placed all the boards, and they were quickly reprinted, which cost a lot of money. If it had been ANY other letter we would have let it slide.
3. Slut Shaming
I used to work for a museum booking group visits and educational programs for tour companies and schools.
Was working on a reservation and they had only told me how many students were in the group, but I also needed the number of adults. So, I sent an email to the teacher:
“Hello *teachername*, we’ll also need to know approximately how many sluts will be visiting from your school.”
Luckily, they had a sense of humor:
“Not sure how many of us are sluts, but if you meant “adults” it’s going to be around 8 or 10.”
4. Double Checking
Submitting forms for a job, got a real awkward call back – “Did you mean to check this box saying that yes, you’ve been been involved with illegal distribution of controlled substances? Because you checked no on all the other questions about criminal behavior…”
Nice of the guy to give me a chance to correct it, at least.
5. Big Money
My first finance job had to do with managing corporate cash.
I was moving funds from one account to another and accidentally hit an extra zero.
I ended up moving $30MM instead of $3MM.
Luckily it was between internal accounts, so it was easily reversible, but I didn’t know that at the time.
I s**t my pants and my boss let me panic for 30 seconds before fixing it.
6. The Accident
“Sorry for the incontinence.”
I meant inconvenience, of course. It went out to a group of managers who reported to my boss. We were going to have really limited office coverage for the holidays, so one of their usual processes was going to be delayed, and I was asked to send the official email about how we were going to do business during the couple of days after Christmas.
Fortunately, they were great people and we all laughed.
7. Shut It Down
Typing up minutes to a meeting, “(company name) was s**t for 10 days over Christmas period and only responded to emergency jobs”. Not shut, s**t. To be fair all the folks representing that company agreed that their response times were s**t due to the fact that they were shut.
8. Translation Errors
This guy in my class in elementary meant to ask his dad over text if he could take him to the ski slope (kan du kjøre meg i bakken), but instead asked if he could take him in the a** (kan du kjøre meg i baken
9. The Jumble
Worst (or weirdest) I’ve seen was from my father. His texts are legendarily awful but he out did himself.
He accidentally sent a text message to himself that was a random jumble of letters. Asking the lines of “umsfolltd”.
He then thought my mother had sent him this text.
He was meant to be meeting her at a cafe. He decided this entirely random text he had sent himself must be a new restaurant and she’d decided to meet him there instead.
He spent ages looking for this restaurant. He’d decided it might be an Indian restaurant.
He got very very annoyed when he couldn’t find it.
He eventually went to where they were meant to meet, late and grouchy. And complained to my mother who was patiently waiting in the right place about her doing this to him.
He refused to accept he sent the message. My mother’s not good with technology but correctly pointed out it was clearly showing as his side of the conversation on both their phones.
He’s still a bit annoyed and defensive about it.
(He’s not horrible just grouchy. And an idiot. They are divorced but get on well. People constantly mistake them for an adorable old couple which is hilarious).
10. Power Corrupts
I wouldn’t say damage to other people but more my self. Was in a mod interview via text for something and the owner just flat out asked me “Will you abuse your powers?” and I meant to say “I absolutely will not.” But I forgot the “Not.”
I cringed at myself so I just backed out of the mod interview. Haha.
11. Spending Spree
Hubby: ” so I want to get a new video card but the one I want is like 1100$ bucks”
Me: “You can spend that much on a part rn!”
Then I turned my ringer off and went into my appointment. 2 hours later I had several texts from a very happy husband who was super excited about his new video card.
It arrives today. So Fml
12. The Crush
I was 18. Just starting college and embarrassingly, this was my first plunge into dating (High school was dry for me). I really liked this girl, she was smart, pretty, sarcastic, dark humored, and we liked the same music. We hit it off almost instantly and it was really nice. We were texting back and forth and she suddenly asked me “what do you want from a girl?”
I meant to reply “orale, starting with the important questions!” For those of you who don’t know “orale” is a slang word in Spanish, typically spoken in Mexico and has many uses. In this case, I wanted to use it to show her I was surprised she showed romantic interest first.”
Well, it turns out my old Blackberry didn’t know I was Mexican and decided it knew better and autocorrected my text for me. The text exchange went something like this.
Her: “So, what do you want from a girlfriend”
13. Out of Office
I worked in a media library, and while away for my honeymoon, set my out-of-office to state that I’d be away, but that “If tit is important, please contact *female co-worker*”.
It was like that for over a week.
I came back to dozens of emails that were essentially variations of “Hey, i don’t need anything but I heard about your out-of-office, and had to see it lol”
From then on, we would all mention how important tit was every so often.
14. Pimp it Out
I work in construction and have to regularly coordinate with building management for access to places (think 60 story and up Manhattan skyscrapers size of building and level of people).
I needed access to a fire pump room that we called the pump room for short. My email subject was asking for access to the “Pimp Room”.
The manager responded by thanking me for installing such a fun sounding room since he never heard of it before in his building and the chief engineer replied that it was the room that had lots of “hose” in it. Thankfully they were a fun group of guys and we all laughed our a**es off but what a stupid typo.
15. ON ON ON ON
Not me, but my now fiance. When we were just friends (he had a crush on me and I knew it) we were texting about what we wanted to do when we saw each other after our Christmas break from college. He said he wanted to give me a hug and I jokingly replied what if I don’t want a hug (we are both terrible flirts, not the point of the story lololol).
He reply with “Well I mean it’s your body and I wouldn’t force anything in you” (key word being in). So I replied “uhhh you mean on not in right?” To which he replied the following:
Him: ON ON ON ON Him: HOLY FUCK Him: ON ON ON
But now his my fiance sooooooo it all worked out
I guess it all worked on in the end, eh?
Do you have a tale of terrible typo?
Tell us in the comments.