I’ve heard a lot about open relationships lately…and it seems like more and more couples are giving it a shot.
But how would you react if your significant other suggested this kind of arrangement?
Check out what AskReddit users had to say about this.
Not enough time.
“I don’t know how people manage to have affairs – even if I wanted to I don’t have the time for one.
I barely have enough time to work, take care of my marriage, and be a parent. Adding a girlfriend on the side too?
The logistics escape me before morality even enters the picture.”
“We were watching TV and it came up in some show.
I just asked her what she thought of that idea that some marriages can be open. She said ‘ if your gonna do that, why even bother to be married at all?’ I said something like ‘agreed’.
It was all about intention and tone and a large degree of trust we have for each other. Plus, from time to time, I entertain hypothetical questions.”
“That would be the end of it for me.
I can totally respect that being how someone wants to live their life, but that isn’t for me.”
“I would terminate our relationship, whether it’s breaking up or divorce.
Saves the both of us a whole lot of heartache and drama.”
Didn’t work out.
“Tried it once.
Destroyed the relationship.
Automatic no from me from now on.”
“My daughters dad tried this and then proceeded to give me an ultimatum. I was about 10 months post partum and my libido hadn’t really recovered yet, not to mention i was at the PEAK of my PPD.
It wasn’t a totally dead bedroom but not nearly as often as we used to. He kept asking me for a threesome which was great timing considering my self esteem was already at an all time low. So naturally i refused and told him to never ask me again. he then said he either needs an open relationship to satisfy his needs or he wanted to break up.
Soooo i told him he’s not getting my permission to cheat on me and we’re done.
We still lived together for a few months for financial reasons but from that point on we were roommates and coparents.”
“I would need more details.
Open relationships take a lot of trust and communication. There needs to be equity on both sides. I would ask questions like: Why is this being brought up now? Has something changed? How do you feel about each of us having another partner? Or is this just a you thing? What happens when those partners want other partners, too?
I would likely ask questions about gender preferences and how we would handle testing for STDs. Is this just a sexual thing, or more like a full blown relationship? How much time will be allocated to this relationship? Will these relationships all be separate and distinct? If I had children I would ask about what, if anything, would be shared with them.
If this discussion becomes uncomfortable then the current relationship probably needs to be reassessed and maybe counseling should be considered, if the plan is to stay together (open or not).”
Out the door.
I have no interest transitioning to an open relationship and no energy to navigate all the challenges that comes with it.”
Not on the same page.
“That I’m monogamous.
I was clear from the start I was monogamous, and if my partner wants an open relationship then it’s clear we’re nowhere near in the same page, we’re not going anywhere as a couple, and we’re actually done.
Not trying to shame anyone, I just don’t want to be with someone who thinks about banging other people so much and so often that they ultimately decided they’re willing to try to sell me on the idea that we should agree they can do it while still being in a relationship with me and I should be totally fine with it because of reasons.
Time to break it off.
“Probably break it off.
I understand that monogamy isn’t for everyone and I’m not gonna force it on anyone, but personally I’m not interested in an open marriage, and if my husband wanted one, the marriage might be too far gone. Even if he’s okay staying monogamous, I may spend the rest of the marriage stressing over whether I’m enough, and wondering if he’s getting what he wants behind my back.
If his needs aren’t being met, I’d want to have that conversation long before it gets to the point where an open marriage even crosses his mind.”
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