Remember when you were a kid and you were really dumb? You thought you knew a bunch of stuff about the world, but you later “figured out” that was just very, very, very stupid.
These 12 former children are finally admitting the hilariously crazy things that they used to believe… because we’re all dummies some time in our life.
Let’s take a look.
1. The monkey child.
I was around 4 or 5, and from my understanding humans were monkeys in the very beginning.
I got into a huge argument with a classmate because i was convinced we developed as monkeys in our mother’s womb and eventually grew into humans before being born.
2. Mile high.
That since Denver was called the mile high city and airplanes flew a mile up in the air, that the airplane would just land in Denver up in the sky or could run into Denver if they weren’t careful.
What was I thinking?
3. War… what is it good for?.
After 9/11 I thought we were going to have to invite al-Qaeda over to America for the fight.
And they were going to invite us over there to fight.
And all the civilians would have to hide in basements while the fighting went on.
Whenever me and my brother did something to an object that annoyed our parents, they would tell us not to do it because it would cause the object to burst into flames.
Jiggling the doorstops? You’ll burn the house down. Stacking too many books in a pile? Cool fire hazard, dorks. Sliding down the carpet stairs? Friction is a bitch.
It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize that not everything that annoyed my parents guaranteed a fire.
5. Immediate child.
Just kissing a boy or sleeping together in the bed will result in me giving birth in the next month.
I got scared when I was younger that when I slept in the same bed as my twin sister that she would get pregnant.
I was like 9.
6. This would be AMAZING!
I didn’t know turn signals were manual.
I thought the car just knew where we were going.
7. Those would be some cute babies!
When I was 5, That all dogs are male and all cats are female.
Hahaha… I didn’t learn they weren’t until I was 9.
8. Blue moon!
That the moon was following me.
Kind of cool, tbh.
9. Detachable peepee
I thought my peepee had fallen off.
I was about four years old when I saw my aunt changing my baby cousin’s diaper, and I saw a bit too much of his baby junk for comfort. I guess she figured it didn’t matter, I was just a toddler. As a little girl who had not yet learned about genitals, I was baffled.
What on earth IS IT???
The only explanation my four year old chimp-brain could come up with to explain my baby cousin’s peepee (and my lack thereof) was that babies are just born with them, and mine must have fallen off somewhere along the way.
I thought that eventually, baby cousin’s would fall off too, in the same way baby teeth fall out.
10. Very. Tired. Actors.
I thought actors performed the movie every time I put in the VHS tape.
I remember how I tried to watch movies at night because I knew the actors were Americans and about the time zones, lol
11. Ridiculous religiousness.
I had a friend tell me about her sister’s birth.
She said “her butt was shaved” and for the longest time I thought babies were born with very hairy butts.
I didn’t realized her mom probably had to be shaved until I was older.
I also thought parents had to have sex regularly during a pregnancy to keep the baby fertilized or it would die.
I grew up Catholic – we did not speak of The Sex.
12. Yeah, that kind of makes sense.
I thought foie gras was the fake grass they put in Easter baskets.
I thought this even when I went into high school. I thought people hated it because it was a messy and useless waste.
Like, I honestly just thought vegans were assholes who hated Easter.
Oh wow… this is embarrassing, but that’s how I thought sex worked too.
Thanks mom and dad!
Anyway… what did you believe? Tell us in the comments!
Because we all need to laugh more these days..