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A little while back I woke up, stretched a little weird, and hurt my leg so bad that I couldn’t walk right for days.
It was at that exact moment I was reminded: a) I’m not a kid anymore and b) our bodies are weird and fragile as heck.
But I’m not alone in this conundrum.
What's the stupidest injury you've ever occurred?
I'll go first: I popped my jaw last week by brushing my teeth too vigorously. It still hurts 😖
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) March 21, 2021
The people of Twitter were more than happy to let us all know their tales of weird hurt. Here are just a few.
11. The big sleep
It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy.
Fell asleep on my arm. Woke up in the dark & couldn’t feel it at all. I was trying hard to move it & just as I was about to give up, my hand fell from the sky & whacked me in the face!
You don’t know fear until you think you are being attacked w/only 1 arm to defend yourself.
— Michael (@MikeHensler15) March 22, 2021
10. Happy birthday!
I’m sure she didn’t mean it.
My puppy gave me a black eye the day after my 30th bday
The moment I bent over to grab a phone charger near our bed was the exact moment that she decided to launch herself, full-force, onto the same bed
*Note: No puppies were harmed in this incident, and she is a very good girl pic.twitter.com/EMO1wpRtXX
— Amanda Weinstein (@aweinstein4719) March 21, 2021
9. Food fight!
Man, everything in New England is just so much more intense.
I have a scar on my thigh from a middle school food fight. Because I was on the eastern shore of Maryland, someone had hucked a crab and it stuck into my leg like a throwing star.
— Chris M (@ChrisM_SF) March 21, 2021
8. Bless you
Wut?
Sneezed too hard and strained a muscle in my back that had me down for two days.
— Benjamin Allbright (@AllbrightNFL) March 21, 2021
7. It’s time to stop posting
Mom did warn us that we’d hurt ourselves from looking at these screens so much.
Pinched a nerve in my neck from too much tweeting
— Lindsay Goldwert (@lindsaygoldwert) March 22, 2021
6. Put it on my tab
Did…did the x-ray technicians not know what soda was?
I swallowed a soda can tab. ER doc gave the RN $1, asked for a soda from the vending machine. He tore off the tab, taped it to my hospital gown and said, “Tell Xray they are looking for this shape.” pic.twitter.com/4UJoTboxmM
— Betsy Towner Levine (@betsytlevine) March 21, 2021
5. My spidey sense is tingling
One time a spider descended in front of my face while I was driving and I hit a road sign.
Idk how I’m alive, to be honest.
I had a spider crawl out of my shirt and up towards my nose while seated against a wall. I flipped out and banged my head against the wall giving myself a concussion. Fun times.
— Haralabos Voulgaris (@haralabob) March 21, 2021
4. Another spider one
Ok seriously this is not doing my arachnophobia any favors.
I had a spider crawl out of my shirt and up towards my nose while seated against a wall. I flipped out and banged my head against the wall giving myself a concussion. Fun times.
— Haralabos Voulgaris (@haralabob) March 21, 2021
3. Good morning to you!
It’s that special snap crackle pop that makes the morning great.
I woke up one morning, stretched and curled my toes, and heard a pop.
I broke my big toe by waking up.
— Ken Childs (@TheKenChilds) March 21, 2021
2. Lego strikes again
Can’t make it up.
I injured myself by stepping on a Lego in kids bedroom while putting clothes away, lost my balance, grabbed the clothes drawer pulled it out as I fell over backwards and it all fell on top of me. All true. Can’t make it up
— @jobiebest (@jobiebest) March 22, 2021
1. Thumbs down
Well yeah, I mean, priorities.
Three stitches in my thumb from a box grater making homemade mac and cheese. I will note that I ate the mac and cheese first before going to the hospital.
— Jenna Golden (@jigolden) March 22, 2021
And there we have it. The truth hurts. So does everything else.
What’s your dumbest injury?
Tell us in the comments.
