I’m really excited to dig in to these responses!
I’ve always wondered what people go through when they finally meet their biological parents later in life…because you know it’s gonna be a roll of the dice.
AskReddit users talked about what it was like to finally meet their sperm donor fathers.
Let’s see what went down.
1. A weirdo in the best way.
“My bio-dad donated sperm and gave permission to be identified. Didn’t even have to be after 18. In counting (because we’re not sure if we’ve found all of us yet) there are 53 half-siblings, all his kids.
My full sister and I didn’t know we were donor babies until I was a freshman in college, and her a junior in high school. It was a few more years before we found out the scope of our family.
As such, I never got to meet the man as he passed away in 2018, but I’ve been getting to know my half siblings and I’m sad to have missed him. He apparently engaged in annual reunions and was interested in getting to know all of the kids if they (and their families) were open to it. We all support each other basically by default even though we didn’t grow up together.
What’s even wilder about him is that he got national news coverage for something besides his giant flock of kids. The guy got married to a woman the day he met her as a competition to be his bride in the Mall of America. It was apparently a heartfelt story and the two of them had a 20 something year marriage with 4 kids that they raised themselves.
The Mall of America even has a plaque with his name on it now, so you can go find him if you really try. The man was a weirdo, but in the best way. He was kind and generous with his time and really seemed to care about *all* of his kids, or at least the ones he knew about.”
2. That’s nice.
“I was donor conceived, along with my sister (same donor).
I had a great dad and never had any desire to find out who my donor was, but I was always curious about siblings, especially when I learned there’s no legal limit on how many children you can father when you donate sperm in the US.
Well, one 23andMe test later, and the first result on the top of the list is a half sister in Texas. We get in contact, realize we have a TON in common, and it sparked a fire in her to find more siblings. She took an Ancestry DNA test and the top of that list was a man in California, listed as father.
She got in touch with him right away, turns out he’s a fantastic guy. He was adopted himself and also got in contact with his birth mom as an adult, so he had been on our side of the situation and was very open and willing to talk.
His wife has been super supportive of us meeting too. He has three, uh, organically made kids of his own (I was especially ecstatic to learn that I’m a big sister), plus we’ve since found three more half siblings who’ve all been very cool and excited to find each other.
At this point, I’ve met all but one of them in person, and I got to meet my biological grandmother too.”
3. Quite a shock.
“I was donor-conceived. I took a DNA test, his natural-born daughter took a DNA test. So really neither of us ‘gave permission’. There are 28 siblings so far. It was quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting it and didn’t know. I was 38.
I’ve met the donor and most of the half siblings. He’s a cool guy. I think it is eerie how I see many of my mannerisms in him and the other siblings. I know there is a wide range of emotions for people who experience this sort of thing, but for me it was generally positive.”
“I met my biological father when I was 25 after never meeting or seeing him my whole life. The little things were so weird. We sat in a chair the same way We nervously bit the skin next to our finger nails at the same time.
The first drink I ever ordered was a white Russian because I thought it was interesting. Low and behold when we met he and his family bring white Russians to the lake because it’s their favorite drink.
I’ve kept a 2 dollar bill in my wallet since I was 14 for no reason at all. After we talked. He has had a 2 dollar bill in his wallet since he was a kid too. Just really weird things coincidences.”
“I come from the age of “don’t tell anyone, not even the children” but I found him easily through a DNA test and wrote him a letter letting him know who I am.
He told me not to contact him again because his wife was upset. It was nice of him to respond though. And he told his kids about me. I have half-siblings who want to meet.”
6. Kind of a d**k.
“I didn’t find out that my parents used IVF until my senile step-grandma spilled the beans when I was 22 years old.
My dad was kind of a d**k and I was mildly happyish/mad that my parents never told me. “
7. Let it go.
“I’m a child born via sperm donation. At one point in my life I did tons of research to find him- I also did Ancestry and found some half siblings but no donor. But I thought about it more and looked over the records I did have (from the donor company).
He was a college student at the time and asked not to be contacted. He probably has a family now who may or may not know about his past donation, and my gut feeling is that he did it for the money. So I’ve decided to let it go.”
“I am the product of a donor. Not really what this thread is about, but I did not get permission; instead I found my donor father via his brother who is on 23andMe.
I didn’t find him until well past my 30s. I ended up speaking with him over the phone, and then with my donor father, and it was nice. I am apparently his only donor offspring and he has 3 other adult children (who are all my half-brothers — which is obvious, but weird).
In the end, it was a disappointing experience since his wife did not like that I was reaching out and she felt threatened for some reason. On top of it, I have a difficult relationship with my (real) parents and so, I think I set my expectations to high going in, with hopes of forming some deeper relationship, which will likely never happen.
It at least gave me closure on a very weird aspect of my existence.”
9. Kinda weird.
“When I was 30 I had an opportunity to meet him. I took it, I’d always been curious, he was part Native American and I wanted to know more about my heritage.
Fact is, he’s kinda weird. There’s a reason he’s not with my Mom, and in the end he’s not part of my life.
But, I was curious, and I have a friend that is completely adopted and doesn’t know his parents. He told me that it’s like having a hole you can never fill.”
“I found out I was a product of artificial insemination via a sperm donor when I was 18. I was raised by a man who I will always consider my dad but who is actually not biologically related to me.
For curiosity, I have always wanted to meet my donor. Not necessarily a relationship, but I want to know where I came from biologically. I found out that through the donor company I was created from (hehe still sounds weird), I would be able to request contact with him and if he accepted, we could meet.
He denied me and honestly it made me much more upset than I thought it would.”
11. Just a donor.
“My donor is my donor not my father. I only recently decided to see what he looked like. One day I’ll probably meet him but no desire now.
My half siblings on the other hand might as well be full siblings as I feel much closer in interests and other things to them, plus they’re all within a year or two of my age.”
Do you have any stories similar to these?
If so, please share them with us in the comments.
We’d sure appreciate it!