Why do they do it…?

I’m talking about those pesky people who take FOREVER to reply to text messages.

They drive you nuts!

And today we’re going to hear from these folks about why they act this way…

Let’s get some answers!

Well, that’s nice.

“I’ll want to respond thoughtfully and with multiple points.

I know it will take more than 10 seconds, which all the time I might have in the moment, so wait until later.

Then I frequently forget.”

I’ll get back to you at some point.

“It’s a relatively (very) new phenomenon that basically anyone in your life gets access to you at all times.

It was only 20 years ago that if you left the house for the day you were actually gone. You’d return messages when you came back hours or even days later.

Basically I prefer this sometimes.”

Are you in the circle?

“I have two, maybe three, people I’m good with responding to ~immediately, and even with them sometimes I just need to be unavailable for the sake of being unavailable.

We’re not built to be “always on” like this.

If you’re outside of my “priority circle” then I’m sorry, but I’ll get back to you when I get back to you.”


“I have anxiety problems as is and can go years not responding to phone calls.

There’s no reason in the world that phone calls, text messages and emails should show up demanding my attention while I’m on the loo playing Tetris.

I h**e being surprised with social demands when I’m not prepared for them.”


“It’s usually because I read the message while I’m doing something that I can’t reply in that moment, and then I literally just forget.”

Not feeling it.

“If I find something stressful about interacting with this person. It might not even be that I don’t like them. But maybe they want to discuss something I find stressful and I just don’t want to deal with it with what else is going on in my day at the time.

Like my mom who will ask about something career related in a text. And I just don’t want to get into that kind of conversation at the moment. Love her, but yeah.”


“I suddenly realised the expectation that anyone can interrupt me, at any time, and expect an immediate answer is wholly unreasonable. It’s like being on a chain anyone can jerk at will.

Now I only answer messages and emails a couple of times a day, unless it’s from a very good friend or family, about something urgent. And tbh, other busy people I know do the same.”

I said no!

“I h**e the expectation of immediate replies, because I feel like that’s forced me into a conversation I’m not mentally prepared for.

Even phone calls from family will get sent to voicemail so I can determine what kind of mood or conversation is about to happen so I can prepare myself for it.

I’m terrified of people lambasting me with questions meant to overwhelm and fluster me, or persuade me to act. I need time to mentally prepare for things.”

On silent.

“Now I just leave my phone on silent 24/7 so nothing can interrupt me.

I also put less pressure on myself to respond ASAP and just respond as and when I feel like it.

Yes this leads me to straight up ignore people sometimes if I don’t feel like responding but those are usually less important conversations anyway.”

A recent thing.

“It’s actually a recent devolution for me.

I recently went to Egypt for 2 weeks. While I was there, I literally had no internet. Taking those 2 weeks really made me realise how much better I felt just reply when I could rather than instantly.

I also realised this with some people I work with, they’d text me during non working hours about work. I’d just reply during working times. So text me at 6pm on a Friday, I’d reply at 9am Monday.”

In the zone.

“I’m in the zone, doing something important, and can’t reply at just that moment.

Unfortunately, your notification has been cleared by me opening it and now I will forget. If I don’t reply within a few hours, please send a follow up.”

Do you do this?

If so, explain yourself in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!