The entire idea of teaching kids abstinence only s*x education really blows my mind.

And I’d think it was funny if it didn’t mess up so many kids and teach them all kinds of inaccurate things.

AskReddit users who received abstinence only s*x education talked about the weird things they were taught.

1. Stay far away.

“If a man ejaculates on or near your body the sperm will swim around and find your v*gina and you will get pregnant.”

2. I don’t think so.

“If a gay man and a lesbian woman have a baby the baby will be trans.”

3. Uh oh…

“So I’m Irish and Catholic.

Growing up in Dublin we had church sanctioned s*x education, some of the highlights:

-All pen*ses are the same size when erect (we were 14 and this was hilarious to us)

-Being gay is just a phase

-No method of birth control is reliable (including oral s*x and body rubbing).”

4. Be careful!

“They said that hugging a boy will get you pregnant.”

5. The point of no return.

“If you are willing to make out with someone, you’ll end up having s*x with them because you pass the point of no return on the mountain climb to s*x.”

6. Lesson learned.

“The instructor gave all the boys in the class chewing gum and let them chew on it for a few minutes.

Then she asked them if any of them wanted to share. Of course none did.

Then she asked if they didn’t want to share gum, why would they want to share s*x partners?

This was in a co-ed class so all the girls in the class got to see too.”

7. Erased.

“I was given a diagram of the female anatomy in which the cl*toris had been erased.

As in someone went into MS paint and whited it out on a line drawing of the exterior of the vulva.

The urethra, v*gina, lab*a, an*s were labelled, and then at the top of the lab*a, it was whited out.”

8. Bad info.

“That the actual v*gina opening is as small as the tip of a pencil.

I also never knew women didn’t pee from their v*ginas until I was 16.

I’m 19 now and learned more from posts on the internet than I ever di in school.”

9. Your one and only.

“The teacher said that you can only really love one s*xual partner and that’s why it’s so important that your spouse be your first and only partner.

One of my classmates raised her hand and said, “My mom died when I was a baby and my dad’s been married to my stepmom for ten years. Does that mean he only loves one of them?”

The teacher just looked uncomfortable and moved on to how premarital s*x causes depression.”

10. How does this work?

“I was convinced that saliva was involved in the baby-making process.

Not that you’d kiss someone and then boom pregnant, but that someone’s saliva over time would make their baby look like you. The more saliva, the stronger the resemblance.

Long story short I spit in my cousins drinks for a solid 2 months because I wanted her baby (she was pregnant at the time) to look like me (who was 8).”

11. All fake!

“Condoms don’t always work so it’s better to not use them.

If you ej*culate on a girl (yes, “on”) she will get pregnant. Regardless of if you had s*x or not.

Boys get so horny sometimes they can’t control themselves. So girls, it’s up to you to remove temptation for the boys.

Birth control pills disrupt a girl’s hormones so badly she will become barren.”

12. There goes your soul…

“That every time I (a girl) had s*x I was giving away a part of my soul. So each x partner whittled away bits of my soul.

If I had s*x before marriage my god-given husband would only get a tiny scrap instead of a full half and thus wouldn’t be able to love me as much as he would if I’d waited?

Honestly it’s pretty confusing. This was taught in my Christian private school.”

13. That’s hot.

“My church based s*x ed claimed that foreplay involved things like reciting poetry to one another or playing the violin together.

I guess their plan was for us to be so bad at foreplay we’d never have s*x.”

What do you remember about your s*x education?

Talk to us in the comments.

Please and thank you!