Person Asks if They Were Wrong to Report a Co-Worker to HR

Having drama at work is bad.

Actually, I think it’s REALLY bad.

I don’t understand why people can’t just go to work, get the job done, and be respectful and friendly to everyone.

But we all know what some folks out there are like…

Take a look at this story and see if you think this person acted like a jerk.

AITA for reporting my coworker to HR and our manager’s manager?

“I don’t want anyone to sugarcoat: was I the a**hole for reporting my coworker?

My department at work is just me, my coworker and our manager. Both my coworker and I have the same title and duties. My coworker has volunteered that she 1) has been diagnosed with both ADHD and anxiety and 2) doesn’t take medication even though she needs it because she feels more free and creative without it.

She can’t focus on anything. She is constantly distracted. She starts tasks and leaves them unfinished. She procrastinates on everything. I can’t stand having meetings with her because she can’t focus. She doesn’t do things if they make her uncomfortable (like talking on the phone some days if it’s a bad day).

We work in a field that has licensing and regulations (-think accountant, attorney, things like that). When she doesn’t complete things I have to do it because there is a legal deadline. When she doesn’t return calls to clients because of procrastination I’m left scrambling to apologize and do it.

I would just leave it except 1) missing deadlines, ignoring clients and procrasting on tasks has real work consequences and could lead to bad things and hurt/problems for people and 2) it could affect my own license and standing because I’m equally responsible for the department.

My coworker just laughs or blows me off and my manager never does anything when I bring up the missed deadlines, not returning calls/emails etc.

I ended up reporting my coworker to HR and my manager’s manager because my wife convinced me to do so. I had to fix a mess she made by missing a deadline that badly affected a client. I spent time on the phone with the client who was in tears and normally I keep the office separate from the rest of my life but I cried myself horase when I got home.

I didn’t mention her ADHD or anxiety when I reported. I stuck to facts about deadlines, clients, procrastination and other things going on in our office. My manager’s manager was livid. I found out he ripped my boss and my coworker a new one. From now on my manager and my coworker are going to have their work checked externally. He apologized to me and several clients.

Why I’m second guessing my decision now is because my manager coworker are angry with me. My boss pointed out that I have no idea what is to have ADHD and anxiety. She says my coworker is doing her best and I just made it worse.

My boss said I should have just continued on and left her alone and now I’ve made her life harder and she is feeling worse. My manager said my coworker was inconsolable and can’t understand why I would tattle. Both of them are giving me the cold shoulder.

My intention wasn’t to hurt my coworker. I just thought my manager’s manager and HR needed to know how bad things got. I admit I never tried to find a solution with my coworker.

I’m hoping to be pregnant by the end of the year and I know the stress/losing sleep won’t help things. I honestly didn’t mean to hurt my coworker.”