This Man Wants to Know if He’s a Jerk for Buying Pets for His Kids Without the Approval of His Ex-Wife

A lot of things can cause friction between separated and divorced couples.

And one of the big ones is when one parent buys their kids a pet…without the permission of the other parents…

And that’s what went down in this story from the “Am I The A**hole?” page on Reddit.

Let’s take a look…

AITA for buying my kids pets without the approval of my ex?

“I’m divorced (6years) and remarried (2years). I have two sons with my ex, 11m and 13m.

My wife has one son, 9m. My kids mom lives less than a mile away. It’s close enough for the kids to walk over, but far enough to be separate space. My boys move back and forth between their moms and my house usually once a week. We’re flexible especially during the summer because of travel, kid activities, etc. My wife’s son lives with us full time.

My wife and I have been talking with the kids about getting a pet that they would personally be responsible for at our house. This has been going on since December and we told the kids we would pull the trigger on the pets when all of our summer travel was done.

Since then, the kids have been excited about the prospect of having their own pets. We asked them to research their chosen pet, determine what its needs were and what kind of common health problems that kind of pet could have and how to avoid them. The kids all presented their reports and did an awesome job starting out as responsible pet owners.

My kids started thinking about how they would take care of their pets when they were with their mom. We presented their options as we saw them: Come over from time-to-time, ask for help from someone that’s here all the time, bring the pets back and forth.

They decided they would like it best if they could bring their pets back and forth between the houses. We said that it would be ok with us, but they had to talk to their mom about it. I let them know that it was their responsibility to initiate that conversation.

Two weeks ago I reach out to my ex to see what her answer is regarding the pets moving back and forth. She lets me know the kids approached that conversation saying “Dad says we can bring the pets back and forth”, I apologize and let her know that wasn’t my intent. I clarify that we’re fine with any of their three options for caring for these pets.

She replies “in concept, I don’t disagree with it.”, and also late in the conversation “it’s totally unfair to expect her to secondarily be responsible for these pets.” I’m confused, but leave that conversation feeling certain that she doesn’t want to participate, so I decide that I will take care of the pets while the boys are away.

Yesterday we bought the youngest two their pets. They are ecstatic, and it’s adorable how they’re caring for them. I get an angry message from my ex stating that the “purchase of their pets is an imposition on them regardless of whether they go to their house or not.” and a bit of patronization “I understand that you and (wife) are excited about having an autonomous family unit of your own, but you continually make decisions together in a vacuum that impact the wider scope of immediate family, and it’s really not ok.”

Am I the a**hole for pulling the trigger on these pets without her approval?”

Now it’s time to check out the responses from Reddit users.

One reader argued that this guy is indeed the a**hole here…read on to see what they said.