This Person Asked if They’re a Jerk for Ending Their Grandmother’s Nursing Home Payments

Just by the title of this article alone, you know there’s gonna be some hurt feelings in this story.

But that’s what goes down in stories that people share on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole?” page…and this one is quite interesting.

Take a look at what this person shared on the controversial page and stick around to see how readers reacted.

AITA for ending my grandmom’s nursing home payments?

“This one just came up yesterday and virtually my whole family thinks I’m a massive a**hole at this point, so I wanted to get some second opinions…

I’ve been stuck paying my grandmoms nursing home payments for a couple of years. They are painfully expensive, like ~$4k a month. When she first went in it was after a major medical issue that left her needing round the clock care, and she honestly wasn’t likely to make it more than a few months.

I was a 27 year old single guy with a good job and very few expenses so I was able to swing it no problem, the woman basically raised me, and I was the only family member who could remotely pay for it so I covered it. At this point though the expected few months has turned in to over 3 years, I have a lot more expenses myself, and I’m getting married soon so will have my own family to worry about.

I can definitely still afford it, if I literally couldn’t then that would be a different story, but it still seems like it is far from a good idea for me/my family financially to be putting that much money in to that despite the fact that the money is there… My family is flipping and saying I’m ki**ing my grandmother, have sold my soul, value money over human life, etc. It isn’t like I’m literally putting her on the street.

I’m also currently paying my moms mortgage, and told her I’d keep paying it indefinitely if she let my grandmom move in (grandmom doesn’t need the same amount of constant medical attention anymore so that should be fine for her) but evidently it is ridiculous of me to ask that and now I’m apparently just threatening to make my mom homeless on top of ki**ing my grandmom.

Everyone’s stance mostly just seems to be that if I buy anything nice like a vacation, or car, or get my fiancee a nice gift or something now then that means that I value those things more than my grandmoms life, and if I save the extra $4k a month then I value hoarding money over her life.

The way I see it it has nothing to do with what I do or don’t value, it just really shouldn’t be my responsibility anymore, especially now that I have a family of my own to worry about and there is no telling what it might need that money for in the future. Especially since I’ve provided an alternative of keeping paying my moms mortgage if she lets her live there, but evidently it isn’t remotely my moms responsibility to do anything to deal with it even though it is somehow mine.

Nobody in my family has ever had even a decent amount of money and are all financially illiterate, so to them saving or preparing doesn’t exist and just throwing $4k a month at a problem is evidently a whole lot easier than letting someone live with you as long as you have the money…

So, what is the verdict on this one? Am I being an a**hole valuing money over my grandmother, or is it perfectly reasonable for me to be looking for a new option?”

And here’s how Reddit users responded to this story.

One reader said that this person’s family seems to be very manipulative.