I think one thing is for sure: open relationships are DEFINITELY not for everyone.
But you do hear more and more about them these days so I guess they work for some folks…or at least people are more open to it…
Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say about this.
“If either person has to be convinced to open the relationship up, it will be an unmitigated disaster in practice.”
“Any hint of a suggestion that my partner is seriously entertaining ideas of s** with someone else means adios in my book.”
3. Won’t end well.
“IMO trying to open up a relationship that started closed is a recipe for disaster.
Either it was clear from the get go that you are both into it and that’s the basis upon which you’ve built your relationship, or one of you is trying to fundamentally change the nature of a relationship that the two of you have built upon a certain shared understanding.”
4. Usually doesn’t work.
“One person wants to act like they’re still single, and the other just rationalizes the whole thing until they don’t.
I’m not saying it can’t work, but I think it very rarely does (and by “work” I mean a situation where BOTH parties are 100% happy and on-board with what’s going on).”
“I think it’s absolutely true that we almost entirely only hear about the unsuccessful ones.
People in a currently successful open relationship probably mostly keep it to themselves to avoid any possible social consequences.”
6. Up to you.
“I’m a monogamous fellow, but if other folks want this and they’re doing it consensually, not just agreeing because they feel pressured by their partner, that’s their choice.”
7. Breaking it down.
“It works for them, unless:
1. One of them gets emotionally involved with a third party.
2. Jealousy really REALLY isn’t involved.
3. Both are 100% in agreement.
Now the couple that has the top three without even a small issue, then yeah it can work. The couples where that works are very few and far between.
Sure there are plenty of couples that insist it works but most of them aren’t going to admit publicly if it doesn’t.”
8. Want to feel safe.
“My ex broke up with me because he wanted an open relationship/go poly because he lost his feelings for me already and needed something something to ignite it, he even used his dad’s illness as an excuse.
It’s not for me.. being in a monogamous relationship is already stressful enough.
I want to feel safe with someone.”
9. Hit the fan.
“Some friends who are a couple both wanted it. Not sure how long they had been doing it, but s**t hit the fan when she started hooking up with another friend in our group.
He couldn’t deal with the jealousy. So then he basically ‘left the group’, don’t see him much anymore but he’s got a new gf and things seem ok. She carried him as baggage for a longtime, still does I think. She becomes bitter whenever we bring him up in a convo so we generally just try to avoid ever mentioning him.
This is just one example, my experience as a ‘witness’. I’m sure it can work for some people but it’s not for everyone. Jealousy is a natural human emotion, instinctual really… so I would say, just make sure you are not too much of a jealous person.”
10. Different for everyone.
“I think people all see s** differently. Some people don’t like it as much and as often as others.
Some people think s** is meaningless, some think it’s the most meaningful. I think it’s whatever works for that particular couple.”
11. To each their own.
“My brother has been in a open relationship with his current girlfriend for years now and for the most part they make it work and it works to fill their needs.
That being said, I know personally it wouldn’t work for me. I definitely am a monogamist because I need the stability and familiarity of my wife because she knows me better than anyone else. I am not a social person and as a result, the circle of people I consider friends and/or family is a very exclusive club.
Different strokes for different folks.”
“As someone who has a basically non-existent s** drive I would be OK with my partner meeting those needs elsewhere.
I don’t think I could handle a romantically open relationship though but if other people can make it work then more power to them.”
What do you think about this?
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