When nature calls, you gotta do your thing, right?

And sometimes, the time happens to be at a friend’s house…so what are the rules?

AskReddit users were nice enough to fill the rest of us in on the first rules of using someone else’s toilet.

Let’s take a look at their advice.


“Flush first to make sure it’s working properly.

You don’t want to hear,

“I hope you’re not using the toilet in there, it’s broken!””

2. One way to do it.

“Gotta take ownership of it.

Cowboy swagger into the room, one hand on the belt buckle and just nod at people.”

3. Keep this in mind.

“If it’s an unpleasant explosive type I try to get the fush in while it’s near the end of the initial unloading part that way it won’t stick on the sides.”

4. Interesting.

“Don’t leave skid marks.


Lay a piece of tp on top of the water before you sit down.

Works (almost) every time. Like a little poo boat.”

5. Keep it going.

flush often.

Poop flush, couple wipes flush.

Dont want to be stuck trying to unclog those junk toilets that clog.”

6. It’s your friend.

“Use the toilet brush.

Sure, there are ways to avoid skid marks, but when they happen, its not an unfixable disaster. You use the toilet brush and clean it yourself rather than leave it for someone else to clean.

This should apply to every instance of skid marks in your life.”

7. This should be #1.

“For the love of God…

Make sure you have toilet paper.”

8. The upper decker party wrecker.

“Don’t poop in the top tank…

Unless you really don’t like them and intend to never set foot in their house again.”

9. Okay…

“Own it. Establish your territory but sweeten the deal with a bit of air freshener.

Nothing else establishes the scent of dominance like the aroma of s**t and fruits of the forest.”

10. Remember to be polite.

“Turn the fan on.

And leave the door closed or mostly closed when you leave.”

11. You’re on to something…

“You don’t.

You politely live with abdominal discomfort until you leave.”

12. Double duty.

“Flush twice before you start.

One time I was at a buddy’s place and I flushed first to make sure everything was working and then I took a massive dump. Went to flush and nothing.

Turns out he had turned the water off for some minor kitchen repair and the first flush worked cuz of water in the toilet tank but no second flush.”

What do you think about this?

Sound off in the comments and let us know.

Thanks a lot!