My poor mother…
She raised five kids and four out of the five of us (myself included, let’s be honest) were constantly sneaking around and causing mischief (and one child was perfect).
I’m not talking about anything TOO crazy or dangerous, but enough to give her and my dad some headaches.
But one thing I’ll say is that they never, ever snooped.
And I’m sure glad they didn’t!
But these kids weren’t so lucky.
Let’s take a look at things these parents took away from their kids.
1. Uh oh.
“Deleted YouTube off my 2 year old daughter’s tablet when I heard her watching a normally educational children’s show that had nothing but swear words dubbed over it.
The one time I’m thankful she had it blasting instead of turned down like I tell her to.”
“The lighter he was using to try to light things on fire in his room.
Still a scorch mark on the carpet where he almost caught the house on fire.”
“Helping my dad clean out their storage room in my childhood home. My three year old son (at the time) ran up with a wiggly purple object. Saying “dad look! I found a jello toy!”
It was my old pocket p**sy I thought I lost 13 years prior. Needless to say I scrubbed his hands near-raw, and my wife has never heard word about this.”
4. What are you gonna do with these?
“Just went through my 10 yo daughter’s room the other day and found plastic knives hidden in various places…”
5. Let’s have a talk, son.
“A strip club calendar when he was 13.
We had a discussion about plastic surgery and Photoshop and real expectations, and then I let him keep it.”
6. Cry for help.
“A noose, from one of our kids in her early teens. Won’t go into detail, but it turned out to be a cry for attention.
She did not have any intention of self harm, but didn’t know how to communicate in our family (she’s adopted). She did learn.
She’s second year university now… full of life and laughter. Finding that was a bad day, though…”
7. That is sick.
“You know that can that the toilet brush rests in? You know how it usually has a bit of water in it?
Well, I once busted my 2 y/o with that can in-mid swig. He was chugging toilet brush juice like there was no tomorrow.
I nearly had a nervous breakdown.”
8. Pass the grass.
“My stepson brought home a bag of weed from the park . It was clearly of high quality as the buds were dense and pungent, the smell was gassy and fruity at the same time .
The smoke was rich and smooth and the buzz was uplifting but not too sativa leaning that I got paranoid. 10/10 would confiscate again.”
9. Put that down!
“Son: Screams at me to come upstairs because of an emergency
Me: Goes upstairs
Me: Sees that the emergency is a broke rusty machete.”
10. That’s permanent!
“This stupid drawing of a cat s**king a hookah and come to find out, she managed to find someone to tattoo it on her leg!
I thought it was a stupid drawing! Little did I know…”
“12 year old daughter had horse p**n on her phone. Wife was terrified and refused to talk to her about it, thought she was some s**ual deviant.
I decided to have the conversation with her after her dance class and she was honest about it. She said she heard some kids talking about it at school and she was curious.”
12. The joys of parenthood.
“Ughhh, where do I start? Over the course of her life:
D**d bird in pocket
Collection of skeletons of small wildlife
Drawer full of caterpillars
Foreign money she took from my friend’s house, though she has taken many trinkets from many people. This was recent and disappointing.
Used tampons (hers) mixed up in her laundry
Bottles of mixed God-knows-what DIY potions
Cottage cheese that had molded the mattress
My s** toys. I told her what they were for, thinking she would see how gross taking someone else’s to use is, and then she started using them as they were intended for. Never took them back. Now have locks on my bedroom door.”
Now it’s your turn.
Tell us about the worst thing you’ve confiscated from your kids.
Do it in the comments, please!